First Blood First Serve
by RockHead South Park
Summary: When a mysterious new kid with a dark furry past drifts into town. the Boys find themselves caught up in the middle of a manhunt. What makes Conner so different from other kids his age? What makes him so well trained? so dangerous? What happened to him? to his family? To his life? and how far is he prepared to go when he is pushed? Story is a based on First Blood.
1. Chapter 1

First Blood First Serve. Chapter 1.

by ~AskConnerKurtz, Jun 28, 2013, 6:49:20 PM

Literature / Scripts & Screenplays / Screenplays & Teleplays / Comedy

This fiction and all subsequent chapters is written in the form of a script.

ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS STORY EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL ALL CANON CHARACTERS ARE WRITTEN BY ROCKHEAD SOUTH PARK POORLY THIS STORY CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO IT'S OFFENSIVE CONTENT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.

{Important note to readers This story is written the format of a script.}

Introduction The Mountain Pass leading into South Park.

{A 10 year old boy wearing a winter military jacket, fatigues, combat boots, a cover and carrying a heavy green bag walks down the road passed an old wooden sign that say's South Park as a instrumental of It's a long road by Dan Hill plays.}

South Park First Blood First Serve

Bus Stop

The boys minus Stan are standing at the bus stop, Stan walks up to them.

Kyle: "Dude where have you been Stan? The school bus is almost here."

Stan: {Sounds a little hungover and drowsy} "I've was sick all weekend I told my Mom I still didn't feel good but she just gave me some dayquil and I've been like this all morning."

Cartman: "Dude it sucks to be you."

Kenny {{"Did you try sticking your fingers down your throat like those Japanese girls do?"}}

Stan: "No Kenny I didn't do that that's gross."

{{They notice the new kid walking up to them dressed in combat fatigues and a green winter jacket, carrying a large green heavy bag and sporting a buzzcut and a scar on his left cheek}}

Kyle: "Hey I've never seen him around here before, Did you guys hear if we were getting a new student?"

Stan: "Ugh {sniff} I didn't hear anything about it."

Kyle: "Who is he? Should one of us go up and ask?"

Cartman: "Hey Asshole!" {The kid turns and looks at him} "Yeah you!" {Kyle Punches him} "OW!"

Kyle: "Cartman you asshole that's not how you introduce yourself!" {Notices the boy has walked up to them} "Uh hi sorry about that he can be an asshole, Are you new in town?"

New Kid: "No I'm just passing through. Do you know where I might get a bite to eat?"

Kyle: "Shouldn't you be in school or at home?"

New Kid: "My home is kinda where I roam these days".

Stan: "Ugh did you run away from home or something?"

New Kid: " No it's more complicated than that, Where are my manner's My Names Conner Conner Kurtz."

Kyle: "I'm Kyle."

Stan: "I'm Stan"

Kenny: ("I'm Kenny")

Stan: "And this fat ass is Cartman."

Cartman: "AY I was gonna introduce myself Asshole!"

{{The Bus pulls up and the boys plus Conner get on. Conner salutes out the window but no ones there.}}

School bus

{{The boys sit down with Conner}}

Stan: "Who were you saluting at back there?"

Conner: "What?"

Stan: "Back there at the bus stop?"

Conner: "I thought I saw something back there, I was looking to see what it was {He puts his hand up and looks around.} Like that."

Stan: "Oookay so were are you from?"

Conner: "San Diego."

Stan: "Ugh What are you doing way out here?"

Conner: "It's a long story you wouldn't be interested."

{{Stan Looks at the patch on Conner's winter jacket It says United States Young Marine Corps San Diego.}}

Stan: "Were you in the Army or something?"

Conner: {{Smiles and laughs as he looks out the window}} "Army kids aren't ready for Marines yet. what's wrong with you? You look worse than hammered shit."

Stan: "I was sick all weekend, My mom gave me some Dayquil and It's making me feel a little loopy."

Conner: "You sure you just haven't been hitting the wombat juice?"

Stan: "No."

Conner: {Laughs} "It's okay."

Cartman: "So Are you like homeless or something? Cause I'm not giving you any goddamn change."

Conner: {Looks Offended} "I have my own money Tanker Tits," {Stan, Kyle, and Kenny laugh} "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Cartman: "Ay you leave my Mother out of this Jarhead or I'll kick you square in the nuts!"

Conner: {Stares him down coldly dropping his voice to a cold whisper } "I'd like to see you try."

Kyle: "Cartman shut up and sit down!"

{Cartman grumbles and its down with his arms crossed}

{{Butters sitting across the aisle notices Conner}}

Butters: "Wowie I didn't know we were getting a new kid."

{{The other kids hear him and look at Conner}}

Craig: "Wow He looks pretty tough."

Clyde: "Where do you think he got that cool scar?"

Token: "Yeah you think he got it from a bayonet?

Kevin: No I think a bullet grazed his cheek."

Jimmy: "T-t-t-that sounds pretty c-c-cool very much."

{The girls also notice Conner.}

Bebe: "Wow hey Wendy get a good look at soldier boy over there."

Wendy: "I didn't know we were getting a new boy at school."

Annie: "He looks so rugged and handsome."

Lola: "Yeah We're definitely gonna discuss him at the next list meeting."

Red: "I bet he's got chiseled arms under that jacket."

Jenny: "And rock hard abs." {{They giggle with giddy excitement}}

Bebe: "Not to mention a tight ass do you think it's tighter than Kyle's?"

Wendy: "Only you would know Bebe." {{Bebe lets out a giggle of her own.}}

{{The bus pulls up the School and all the kids get off. Mr Venezuela notices Conner and stops him.}}

Mr Venezuela: "I don't recall seeing you around here?"

Kyle: "Uh He's the new kid?"

Stan: "Yeah."

Mr Venezuela: "Que." {{He closes the bus door and drives off.}}

Conner: "Thanks guys."

Stan: "Ugh No problem dude."

Kyle: "Are you coming?"

Conner: {looks up at the school} "Yeah I'll catch up."

Stan: "Okay see ya."

Kenny: (See ya.)

{{For a few seconds Conner ponders going into the school}}

Conner:{Thinking} What am I doing here? I'm not a student I just stopped in this town hoping for something to eat. I suppose I could stay for one day and move on by tomorrow. {{He shrugs and walks into the school.}} "Wow" {He takes in the front hall} "this is a nice place." {{ He looks down at the school emblem on the floor}} "The Cows huh? I'm certainly not in San Diego anymore. Well lets get this over with." {{He heads for the office.}}

School Office.

{{Conner walks in and walks up to the secretaries desk.}}

Conner: "Excuse me?"

Secretary: "Yes?"

Conner: "Is this the student registration desk?"

Secretary: "Yes it is." {notices the scar on Conner's face} "Are you okay That scar looks pretty bad?"

Conner: "Huh?" {He runs his fingers down it} "Oh that don't worry about that it happened a long time ago."

Secretary: "Oh well If we can just your parent or guardian to sign this we'll get you started."

Conner: "My parents?"

Secretary: "Yes or your guardian."

Conner: {sighs} "I really don't have a legal guardian at the moment."

Secretary: "Little boy?"

Conner: "Conner."

Secretary: "Conner are you running away from home?"

Conner: "Well It's complicated."

{{The secretary presses the intercom.}}

Secretary: "Principal Victoria can you come out here a minute?"

Principal's Office.

{{Principal Victoria, Mr Mackey, and Mr Adams the case worker from Child Protective Services and Conner are discussing what to do with Conner.}}

Principal Victoria: "Please sit down Conner I'm Principal Victoria, This is Mr Mackey our guidance counselor and Mr Adams he's from Child Protective Services."

Conner: {{Sets his bag down and takes a seat}}

Mr Adams: "Now Conner I understand running away from home can be pretty hard but look on the bright side it could be worse, You could be alone in the Penn State locker room with Jerry Sandusky." {Laughs} "We have fun at Child Protective Services."

Conner: {{Looks at Mr Adam's, rolls his eyes and mutters} "Oh boy."

Mr Adams: "Not laughing huh don't worry I got a million of them here's my headshot" {He gives his head shot to Conner looks at it like seriously?}

Principal Victoria:"Uh yes thank you Mr Adams." {Mr Adams sits back down} "Mr Mackey."

Mr Mackey: "Thank you Principal Victoria, Conner I'm here to talk to you about your feelings M'kay, Why did you run away from home?"

Conner: "It's complicated Sir."

Mr Mackey: "Is it because someone in your family has abused you?"

Conner: "No Sir."

Mr Mackey: "What about that Scar on your left cheek did someone cut you there?"

Conner:"No it was my fault I { Makes up a lie } I cut myself playing with a knife."

Mr Mackey: "M'kay well playing with knives is bad." {Conner stifles a chuckle} What about your clothes?"

Conner: "What about them Sir?"

Mr Mackey: "Most kids your age don't wear camouflage and combat boots." {{He takes a look at Conner's jacket patch}} "San Diego Young Marine Corps, your from San Diego?"

Conner: "Yes Sir."

Principal Victoria: "What are you doing all the way out here in Colorado?"

Conner: "It's a long story M'am."

Principal Victoria: "Are you telling me you ran all the from San Diego to Colorado?"

Conner: "Yes I M'am."

Principal Victoria: "Mr Mackey Could you take him to your office? I have to make some calls."

Mr Mackey: "Of Course Principal Victoria Conner would you come with me?"

Mr Mackey's Office.

{{Conner Mr Mackey and Doctor Adams are sitting in office as Mr Mackey looks Through Conner's bag. finding many a disturbing thing}}

Mr Mackey: {Pulls out Conner's Ka Bar knife} "WHOA! HOLY SHIT! That's bad!"

Conner: "It's for hunting."

Mr: Mackey: {Continues digging finding an Colt 1911 handgun} "That's very bad" {{Continues digging finding an M16 rifle and magazines}} "OH MY GOD!" {{Presses the Intercom}} "Principal Victoria I need you put the school on lockdown and send the Truant Officers in here right away."

{The faculty puts the students in their classrooms and lockdown the school.}

{Cuts To Conner being escorted by two Truant Officers and Mr Mackey to the head truant officer Galts office.}

Galt: "Well well Mackey what have we got here?"

Mackey: {forces Conner to the front desk} "Just another Low life Wanna be School shooter. Three counts of possession of illegal weapons in a school zone and I think he was planning to use them." {Mackey puts Conner's Ka Bar on the table along with his Colt Pistol and M16.}

Galt: {looks at the gun} "Is that so" { he sits back and looks down at his pet Guinea pig} "Looks like we got ourselves a loose cannon here Snowbell." {He looks up at Conner who stares at the Guinea pig} " What's your name Son? Your name? Your name" {Conner flashes back to giant guinea pigs rampaging} "YOUR NAME!" {Conner looks up at him} "Listen you little Bastard if your looking for trouble you've come to the right place."

Mackey:{Now pissed off} "The Truant officer asked you your name!" {He rips off Conner's dog tags and gives them to Galt}

Galt: "Well how do you like that O'l Scarface here's a Soldier." {Reads the dog tags} "Iv'e never seen so many dog tags how many have you got? Kurtz Dwight is that your name?" {Conner stays silent} "No? how about Benjamin? Sarah? Now that's not your name is it? Ah here we are Kurtz Conner Private First Class Young Marines. leave him to me Mackey."

Mackey: "Mm'kay let me know If he causes anymore trouble." { He leaves the room}

Galt: "Get him out of here!"

{ The truant officers lead Conner down to to be finger printed.}

Truant Officer: "This is real easy son just put your fingers on the pad and slide it across the paper." {Conner refuses} "Look we can do this the easy way or the hard way." {Conner just looks at him} "Alright we'll do it the hard way." {He tries to force Conner to do it but in a funny scene he can't budge Conner's hand} "Galt!"

{Galt comes over pissed off.}

Galt: "What is it Jack?"

Truant Officer Jack: "He won't cooperate."

Galt: "Listen to me you snot nosed little bastard if you don't put your hand on that paper I'm gonna break it off."

{Conner looks at him with contempt until Galt smashes his nightstick on the table next his hand. "DO IT!"

{Mackey hears the commotion and goes down to investigate.}

Mackey: "What's going on here Galt?"

Galt: "Nothing I can't handle."

Mackey: "Listen to me you little shit as of right now your facing charges of endangering school students, possession of dangerous weapons on school grounds and resisting arrest, your looking at a minimum of 5 years in juvenile hall plus a mark on your permanent record M'kay." "The police are on their way right now you think we're tough you just wait."

{Conner looks at him silently with contempt.}

Mackey: "Alright Galt get him out of here!"

Galt: "With pleasure Mr Mackey." {He slugs Conner in the back of the head with his nightstick.

Jack: "Galt, what the fuck was that?"

Galt: "Just softening him up a little, gotta break him down until he cooperates."

Jack: "I don't like that look in his eyes Galt."

Galt: "Who gives a shit."

{Conner's eyes go wide as Galt prepares to hit him again this Time Conner manages to get up and in a what the F#ck scene he breaks free and fights off Mr Mackey and the truant officers.}

Galt: "You Son of a Bitch!" { He swings at Conner who ducks under it and throws a kick and an uppercut to his groin. Mackey and the other Truant officers try to restrain him but he fights them off tripping one Truant officer into another and landing an elbow to Mackey's stomach followed by a punch to his big head.}

{With the truant officers down Conner quickly spots Snowbell munching on a piece of celery, Her playful squeaks cause Conner's mind to regress to seeing her as a giant rampaging Guinea pig about to attack. With a swift movement he grabs and breaks her neck. With Galt witnessing.}

Galt: "SNOWBELL!"

{Conner snaps back to reality and looks at the dead Guinea pig in his hands}

Mackey: {gets off the floor rubbing his head} "AFTER HIM!" { Mackey heads for the intercom while the Truant officers chase Conner up the stairs, But Conner knocks the lead one down sending them all tumbling like dominoes. the Truant officer at the door hears the commotion and opens the door only for Conner to push him out the nearby window before grabbing his stuff off Galt's desk and heading out the door.}

HALLWAY.

{{Conner races down the hallway as terrified students and faculty run for cover.}}

Conner: "RUN GET OUT OF THE WAY NOW!" {{Mr Alder and Mr Garrett try to block him in but Conner slides under Mr Adler's legs and races for the front door Mr Mackey's broadcast echoes through the intercom.

Mr Mackey: "Attention all students and faculty please remain calm there is an armed child in the school please remain in your classrooms until the police arrive!"

{Meanwhile in Mr Garrison's class. the children are ducked under their desks.

Kyle: "Jesus Christ!"

Stan: "Oh My God is he coming this way?"

Butters: "Oh Hamburgers I don't want to die."

{Clyde breaks down crying.}

Mr Garrison: "Now now children It's very important we stay calm and rational in these types of situations." {Conner crashes through the door window.}}} "AHHHH!" {Ducks under his desk} "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME KILL THEM INSTEAD!" {Garrison points to the children.}}

{{Conner looks at Garrison like what the fuck? then shoots out the window and dives through it landing in the bushes outside}}

Stan: "CONNER?"

Kyle: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE?" {{Kenny sighs with relief}}

Cartman: "You guys I just crapped my pants"

Kyle: " Aw Gross "

{{ Conner's first person view}}

Meanwhile outside Conner struggles to pull himself out of the bushes until a hand pulls him out, Conner looks up to see a young man about 19 with Brown hair and blue eyes dressed in combat fatigues and a helmet and carrying an M16.}}

Conner: "Benjamin?"

Benjamin: "Good to see you in one piece little bro, We gotta get outta here the police will be here soon." {{Mortar shells start to rain down on them as they run}}

{{The two brothers run towards a departing school bus, Benjamin forces his way in and shoves out the driver while Conner gets all the kids off .}}

Benjamin:"EVERYBODY OFF GO GO GO!"

Conner: "HURRY!" {Conner herds the kids out the emergency door. As soon as the last kids are off he shuts it}}

"CONNER WE ARE LEAVING!"

{{Conner climbs aboard as Benjamin drives puts it in gear and drives off as the police arrive.}}

Mr Garrison's class.

{{The boys look on with shock and terror as they see Conner single handedly hijack a school bus force out the driver and evacuate the kids before driving off there is no mortar fire.}}

The Boys all together from the window: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE!"

Butters with them: "Holy Hamburgers dude". {{Cartman face palms}}

Cartman: "Goddammit Butters."

{Cut to Commercial Break}

{{Holy Shit is right what have the boys gotten themselves into?, Who's this brother of Conner's? and what's our little mountain in for next? read the next chapter and find out.}}


	2. Chapter 2

{Author: So Hey I'm Back Iv'e decided to post these chapters like a christmas advent calendar one every day. I finished this story back in August but I haven't gotten much activity for it on Deviant Art so I've decided to post it here. Enjoy.}

{Return from Commercial break}

Bus Chase.

{The school bus races through downtown South Park a line of police cars in hot pursuit Sergeants Yates and Murphy are in the lead car.}

Yates: {over the loudspeaker} "Alright you little bus jacker pull it over or we'll force you off the road." {The bus comes to a dead stop causing Yates and Murphy to rear end it} "Oh really funny smart ass" {The bus starts moving again Murphy tries to shoot out the tires but misses hitting the window of a china shop} "Forget it Mitch He's too far away" {{He gets on the police radio}} "Attention all units this Sergeant Yates suspect is heading west on Main Street towards the bridge is the road block ready?"

Police radio: "We're ready sir."

Yates: "Good When he gets there we'll shoot out the tires."

Murphy: "Sir Isn't that a little extreme? He's just a kid."

Yates: "Oh right forget that last order don't shoot out the tires repeat don't shoot out the tires."

Police radio: "I see him I repeat I have visual on the suspect vehicle."

Yates: "Close the gap we're on our way." {{The get back in the battered police car and continue pursuit}}

{{Meanwhile on the bus Conner and Benjamin see the blockade in front of them several police cruisers block the way with at least a dozen police officers aiming at him.}}

Conner: "It's a roadblock there's no way around!"

Benjamin: "If we can't go around we'll go through them Brace yourself" {Conner braces himself behind a seat as Benjamin accelerates towards the blockade}}

Policeman 1: {Grabs a megaphone} "THIS IS THE PARK COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT STOP THE VEHICLE AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

Policeman 2: "He's not stopping He's not stopping"

Policeman 3: "Jesus Christ He's gonna Ram us." {{The cops scatter as the bus smashes through the parked cruisers and continues across the bridge.}}

{Back to Yates and Murphy}

Police Radio: "The suspect did not stop repeat the suspect did not stop, no injuries but we're down two cruisers Suspect is heading into the mountains."

Yates: "Damn it!" { He slams the dashboard with his fist.} "Contact the station tell them to get the chopper ready we'll need the eye in the sky to find him."

Police Radio: "Yes sir."

Yates: "And contact the school counselor we might need him."

Police: "Negative sir our unit at the school tells me he was injured in suspects escape!"

Yates: "Then find someone else anyone else! I'm gonna get this delinquent if it's the last thing I do".

{Meanwhile on the mountain road the smashed up bus's engine gives out.}

Benjamin: {Tries to get it started again} "Come on come on damn it the engines shot to shit."

Conner: {Is berating himself in the back of the bus} "What are you a fucking idiot Conner what were you thinking bringing an M16 rifle into a public school? You should have remembered it was in your bag you Fuck head!"

Benjamin: "Conner! {Conner looks over to him} The engine's totaled we gotta go." {He gets off while Conner gathers his bag and rifle.}

Conner: "I'm coming!" {Conner climbs off the bus and the two brothers head off on foot into the Colorado wilderness}

{Back at the school the kids are being released to to their parents who are understandably relieved.}

Sharon: {Hugs Stan tearfully} "Oh Stan my poor baby I was so scared."

Randy: {is very emotional} "Oh Stan we thought you would be dead." {holds Stan very tight and sobs}}

Stan: {Grunts from the tight hug} "Dad I'm fine."

Sheila: "Oh My Little Bubbula" {Hugs Kyle tightly with tears in her eyes} "I was worried sick."

Gerald: "It's going to okay Kyle Mommy and Daddy are here."

Kyle: "Mom Promise me your not gonna make a big deal out of this."

Liane: {Who showed up at school with three gentlemen in her "work clothes"} "Oh Poopsie kins I hope you weren't too scared during this whole ordeal." {She smothers Cartman with kisses}

Cartman: "Mom Gross stop it!"

Liane: "I got you some spare Wellington bear undies to change into."

Cartman: "MAHM Seriously!"

Kyle: "Hey Cartman can your mom bring some Wellington bear undies." {Both he and Stan laugh}

Cartman: "AH SCREW YEW GUYS!"

Carol: "My babies my babies" {she picks a shaking and sobbing Karen while Kevin and Kenny hug her legs}

Stuart: "Don't worry kids your safe now."

Stephen "Oh Butters"{sobs} "Butters you wonderful wonderful boy" {He and Linda hold him tight}}

Linda: "Mommy was scared she'd see her beautiful baby boy again."

Butters: "Aw shucks I'm I going to grounded?"

Stephen: "Only for a month son we promise."

{The parents take their kids home.}

Stan's Bedroom.

{Stan goes up to his room and calls Kyle}

{Kyle's lying down on his bed when his phone rings he sees it's Stan and picks up.}}

Kyle: "Hey dude."

Stan: "Hey are you doing alright?"

Kyle: "My Parents are a little hysterical at the moment but I'm guess I'm alright."

Stan: "Yeah my Mom hasn't gotten off the couch since we got home. It's all over the news."

{Kyle goes downstairs to see his parents watching tv Sheila is holding Ike tightly in her arms while Gerald has his arm around her shoulder.}

Sheila: "Kyle come sit with Mommy I want to be sure your safe."

Kyle: "I'll call you back Stan."

Stan: "Yeah later" {he hangs up breaths a heavy sigh and goes over to sock drawer and takes out his bottle of Jamison.}

{Meanwhile Kyle's family continues to watch the news with Kyle seated in Geralds lap.}

Tv: "It's been two hours since the terrifying incident at South Park Elementary where Police say this boy 10 year old Conner Kurtz brought a loaded weapon to school and hijacked a school bus. as of this hour the only fatality was Snowbell the Guinea pig beloved pet of School Truant Officer Rip Galt who suffered a shattered testicle when the suspect struck him in the junk with his weapon. {The scene transitions to the Marsh family living room where the family minus Stan is also transfixed to their tv.} As of this hour the fugitive 10 year old remains at large however Police Sergeant Harrison Yates assures us that he will be in custody by nightfall. "

{ The scene transitions to Cartman's living room where Cartman is watching tv surrounded by mountains of cake cookies and ice cream}

Liane: "Are you feeling better my poor little snookums?"

Cartman: {in his scared innocent voice} "Yes Mommy" {fake sniff} "I'm feeling much better." {Liane plants a kiss on his cheek}

Liane: "If you need anything else just let mommy know." {Liane goes back to the kitchen.}

Cartman: "Sweet!"

Tv: "It is still not known how the suspect acquired the dangerous weapon's with which he tried to kill innocent children with but police are investigating the matter."

Mr Kitty: "Meow?"

Cartman: "No Kitty this is my KFC sundae."

Mr kitty: "Meow!"

Cartman: "No kitty thats a bad kitty!"

{The scene transitions to the Mccormick Residence Stuart and Carol sit with their children on the couch Kevin sits next to Stuart while Kenny sits next to Carol and Karen sits on Kenny's lap shaking and holding on to him}

Tv: "We now go live to Mayor McDaniels who is giving a press conference at city hall."

McDaniels: {is clearly putting on tears hoping to attract media attention} "As you all know the safety of our darling children is priority number one for my administration." {she changes to a stern tone} "And we will not stand this senseless and evil act of violence on the children of our community." {The scene Changes to the Stotch residence} "I've called upon all available Law enforcement both local and state to hunt down this juvenile delinquent." {The scene changes to the Tweak residence} We Will not rest until this psychopath is in custody"

{{Meanwhile back in the wilderness Conner and Benjamin come across an abandoned lumber yard they look up at the sky to the sounds of helicopter blades}}

Benjamin: "Get down!" {They both go prone behind a lumber pile as the chopper passes by} "All clear."

Conner: "What now?"

Benjamin: *takes out his compass * "The tree line to the northwest has more cover we'll head that way." {{The two brother's leave the lumberyard for the the cover of the trees.}}

{{Meanwhile up in the helicopter Sergeants Yates and Murphy along with Truant Officer Galt are working with Jimbo and Ned on the ground in the search for Conner.}

Yates: "Kern's any sign of the fugitive over?"

{Jimbo and Ned are at the crash site of the bus with several background cops}

Jimbo: "Jimbo here we found the bus but it looks like he ran off on foot after the bus hit a guard rail over."

Yates: "Any signs where he might have gone?"

Jimbo: "Don't you worry Sergeant my o'l buddy Ned will sniff him out." {Ned is sniffing around the crash site on all fours like a dog}

Ned: "Mmm Jimbo I got a trail." {Jimbo rushes over}

Jimbo: "What is it Ned?"

Ned: "Mmm Look" { He points to a single trail of boot prints leading into the woods}

Jimbo: "Hmm children's size 11 and a half junior jungle boots. I wore a pair of those when I was a boy, Our little fugitive is a military brat. C'mon Ned lets go."

Ned: "Mmm bark bark" {{He begins sniffing out Conner's trail as Jimbo and the cops follow.}}

{Back to the helicopter}

Yates: "By God we got him."

Galt: "I can't wait to get my hands on that little bastard!"

Yates: "Kerns I want up to the minute reports contact me as soon you spot him over and out."

{{Meanwhile Conner and Benjamin have reached a rocky stream at the the river northwest of town.}}

Conner: {stops to catch his breath} "Any sign of them?"

Benjamin: {Looks through his rifle scope} "All clear we can rest for a bit." {takes his canteen and fills it at the stream then walks over to Conner.} "Here." {hands it to him}

Conner: {Smiles at his brother and takes a drink} "Thanks." { He offers it to Benjamin.}

Benjamin: {waves his hand} "I'm alright for now, besides we need to conserve water." {They look up the sky to see thunderclouds forming} "We have to get inside fast there should be caves up at a higher elevation" {They cross the stream and head deeper into the hills.}

{Back in the helicopter}

Pilot: "Sir the weather looks like it might take a turn for the worse, we should probably head back."

Yates: "We turn back when I say it's time to turn back." "Murphy Get Kerns back on the horn see If he's found anything." {Murphy picks up the radio}

Murphy: "This is Sgt Murphy calling Jimbo Kerns do you read me over?"

Jimbo: {over the radio} "I read you loud and clear over."

Murphy: "Have you found any trace of the suspect over?

{Scene transition to the stream where Ned is sniffing around like a dog.}

Jimbo: "We had the trail for a moment but lost him around the stream, hold on a moment." {Ned begins following the scent again} "Ha that kid's sharp alright he crossed the stream so we couldn't follow his trail."

Ned: "Hmm I'd wager he's headed for higher elevation."

Jimbo: "Ned say's he's probably BIRD!" {Jimbo draws his gun and blows away a blue bird} ""Ned thinks he's probably headed for a higher elevation. you'll probably see him before we do over."

Murphy: "Well keep us updated over and out."

Jimbo: "Copy that Jimbo over and out. Alright Ned do your thing." {Ned starts sniffing around}}

{Meanwhile Conner and Benjamin are running through the tree line when they run into a cliff face.}

Conner: "Great a dead end should we go back?"

Benjamin: "They're probably already at the stream by now they'll be coming this way."

{Conner looks down the cliff there's a steep drop with a raging river below and a few tall trees.}

Conner: "It's a dead end." {He suddenly hears the helicopter coming back} "The helicopter's back we're exposed!" { In the Helicopter Yates Murphy and Garrison spot him}

Pilot: "Hold on I see him {gets on the radio} This is helicopter Abel we sighted the suspect he's on the cliffside of Beard's Gorge requesting backup for capture.?

Yates: "We got him now Murphy."

{The news room}

Tom Pusslicker: "We have breaking news the fugitive 4th grader who earlier tried to shoot up South Park Elementary has been found and cornered we now take you live to our reporter in our channel four copter piloted by a man with really really bad case of Agromegaly."

Agromegaly man: "Thanks Tom as you can see police have cornered 10 year old fugitive Conner Kurtz."

{Stan's living room}

Stan: "Holy Shit!"

Sharon: "Stan Language!"

{Kyle's Living room}

Kyle: "Oh my god!"

{Cartman's living room now full of empty ice cream bowls and cake stands.}

Cartman: "Whoa Awesome!"

{Kenny's living room}

{Karen is crying onto Kenny's shoulder while Stuart and Carol Huddle}

{back on the cliff}

Conner: "Damn it what do we do?"

Benjamin: "This way" {he climbs over the side of the cliff and starts climbing down with Conner closely behind him.}

Murphy: "OH MY GAWD! GET US CLOSER TO THE CLIFF!"

Pilot: "I CAN'T WE'RE CAUGHT IN A THERMAL DRAFT!"

{Galt pulls out a rifle and loads it.}

Murphy: "What are you doing We're just supposed to spot him."

Galt: "I'll spot him alright." {He leans out of the helicopter takes aim and fires at Conner}

Conner: "WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SHOOTING AT US!"

Benjamin: {Looks down down at the tall tree below} "Keep climbing I have a plan!"

{Stan's living room}

Stan: {Seeing the gunfire on tv} Jesus Christ why are they shooting at him?

Sharon: "Stan go to your room."

{Stan runs upstairs and dials Kyle}

{Kyle's Living room}

Sheila: "Oh Sweet Jehovah!" "Kyle go to your room right now Mommy doesn't want you watching this." {Kyle's phone rings}

Kyle: "That's okay Mom Stan's calling me anyway."

Gerald: "Take your little brother with you."

Kyle: "C'mon Ike."

Ike: "Red Firetruck!" {They both go upstairs}

Murphy: "Galt are you crazy we want him alive."

Galt: "Out of my way Murphy that bastard killed Snowbell and shattered my right testicle!"

Pilot: "We're just supposed to spot him not shoot him!"

Galt:{Turns to the pilot} "If you don't fly this thing right, I swear to God I'm gonna kill you." {he takes aim and fires at Conner again causing him to lose his grip on the cliff. Conner looks down and sees the trees below}

Benjamin: "CONNER! HOLD ON I'M COMING!" {He begins to descend the cliff to reach Conner}

{Kyle's stairway}

Kyle: {Picks up the phone} "Stan!"

Stan: {from his stairway} "Dude are you seeing this?"

Kyle: "Yeah."

Stan: "Why are they shooting at him?"

Kyle: I don't know."

Tv: "Tom I think I've just heard what sounds like gunfire coming from the cliff we can't get in for a closer look due to the thermal draft but we'll try to cover what we can from here."

{Back at the cliff}

Jimbo on the radio: "Yates Talk to me dammit what's going on?" {Galt fires again!}

Galt: "I got you now you little shit." {He takes aim at Conner again who realizes it's now or never and jumps from the face of the cliff}

Benjamin: "CONNNNNNEEEEERRRRRR!"

Yates: "OH MY GAWD!"

Murphy: "I CAN'T LOOK!"

Stan: JESUS CHRIST!

Kyle: CONNER!

Cartman: WHOA WAY COOL!

Kenny: ("OH MY GOD!") {holds Karen close to his chest}

Butters: "HOLY HAMBURGERS!"

GARRISON: HOLY TITTY LICKING BALLS!

Mackey: "OH GOD THIS BAD MKAY THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD"!

McDaniels: "This is not gonna look good for my approval ratings!"

Aide: "Mayor the mic's still on" {Her eyes widen.}

Timmy: "TIMMAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Trey and Matt: {Hold each other tight}

Trey: "OH MY GOD I CAN'T LOOK!"

Matt: "TREY HOLD ME!'

{Conner Plummets into a thicket of trees the branches breaking his fall. He tumbles down until he gets his sleeve caught and ripped on a sharp limb which cuts deep into his right arm}}

Conner: "ARRAHH!" {He manages to pull he sleeve free land falls to the ground below as the chopper moves in closer.}

Pilot: "I see him he's alright. {Galt fires another shot forcing Conner to dive for cover.}

Galt: Get in closer I almost got him."

Pilot: "No."

Galt: What did you say? {he points the gun at the pilot}

Yates: "Alright Galt this has gone on long enough."

Galt: {leans out of the chopper} "Keep it steady." {He fires again.}

{Conner ducks behind the tree as Galt fires on him}

Galt: {shows a view of Conner in Galt's Scope sights} "I got you now soldier boy."

{Suddenly Conner looks up to see his brother crash through the branches and land in front of him.}

Benjamin: "CONNER GET DOWN!" {He shoves Conner to the ground just as Galt fires again} "SHOOT AT MY LITTLE BROTHER YOU FUCKIN SON OF A BITCH!" {He picks up a rock} "CHOKE ON THIS !" {He throws the rock at the helicopter hitting Galt in his not shattered testicle and causing him to fall out of the helicopter and into the gorge below.}

Galt: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!""

{He lands on his testicles shattering both of them}

Yates: "Galt!"

Galt: "MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLS!"

{His scream echoes through the gorge and over the Rockies.}

Murphy: "Oooh thats gotta hurt!"

{Cut to Commercial Break.}

{{Ouch I felt that from here Next chapter Will Conner give himself up? Will Yates get his man? Will Galt's balls ever fully heal? the answer to the last one is no, for the rest of these answers read the next chapter to find out.}


	3. Chapter 3

{Return from Commercial break}

{{We begin with a shot of the gorge as the helicopter lands as Yates, and Murphy step out to rescue Galt who's gone into vegetative state caused by the trauma to his testicles .}

Murphy: "GALT GALT! SPEAK TO ME DAMMIT!" {He shakes Galt}

Yates: {Puts his hand on Murphy's shoulder} "It's no use Mitch he's gone into a testicular vegetative state."

Murphy: "Jesus Christ!"

{{Meanwhile behind the tree Conner and Benjamin catch a breath of relief}}

Benjamin: "Just hold still Conner I've got to take a look at that scratch." {by now the scratch from the fall earlier has stained Conner's sleeve a dark red}

{Benjamin removes Conner's jacket and his lighter field jacket revealing a dark green t shirt and a large scratch on his upper right arm}

Conner: {Winces} "Just do what you gotta do" {Benjamin opens the handle on his Ka bar knife and pulls out a thread and needle begins Stitching Conner's wound}

{Conner grits his teeth as tears sting his eyes from the pain until finally Benjamin finishes}}

Benjamin: "I know it hurts Bro but I'm almost done." {He finishes stitching } "We need to get you to a doctor on the double."

{Conner looks down at the police in the gorge below and decides it's best they give themselves up}}

{Back in the gorge Yates radio's for back up}

Yates: "This is Yates we had the suspect but it he refused to comply with orders over."

Radio: "What happened?"

Yates: "Galt got a little trigger happy! and we lost him in the gorge?"

Radio: "Jesus Christ! is he okay?"

Yates: Negative his testicles are both shattered and he's gone into a testicular vegetative state."

Radio: "Roger that listen Yates you picked one picked one hell of a kid to fight, this came over the fax machine just a few minutes ago Connor Kurtz is a Young Marine." "The youth group reported him MIA presumed killed along with his whole family in the Peruvian Pandemic. Say's here he's qualified in survival skills, hand to hand combat, weapons training, junior leadership you name it. "

Murphy: "I knew there was something about that Kid I just knew it."

Yates: "Alright alright calm down Mitch so he's not you average kid but he's still a kid." {Turns back to the radio} "Listen I need back up at the foot of the gorge and hurry the weather looks like it might take a turn for the worse over and out."

{A flash of lightning and clap of thunder echo}

Murphy: "Sir Look!"

{Conner comes out hiding with his hands in the air}

Murphy: "I think he wants to turn himself.

Conner: "THERE'S ONE MAN HURT IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!"

{Yates grabs Galt's rifle in a fit of rage and aims at Conner}

Yates: "KEEP YOU HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

Conner: "BUT WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

Yates: "KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

Conner: "BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?" {someone opens fire forcing Conner to take cover and draw his own handgun." }

{ Yates and Murphy hears the shots and assuming it's Conner return fire with M16s of their own as Conner takes cover behind the rocks}

Yates: "He's behind the rocks." {ducks from one of Conner's shots}

Conner: "Damn it they got us pinned down." {Checks his gun to see he only has two bullets left} "Not good" {he draws his Ka Bar}

Yates: "He's stopped firing I think we got him." {They close in for the capture when a burst of rifle fire erupts forcing them to duck for cover} TAKE COVER!

{Benjamin steps out and fires on the Police}

Benjamin: "Conner This way!" {He cover's his Brother while they flee into the woods.}

{Yates, Murphy, and the pilot take cover till the sounds of gunfire stop}

Yates: "They're gone."

Murphy: "Who the hell was shooting?"

{Officer Barbrady steps out holding his gun and a sandwich with a dead raccoon holding it.}

Barbrady: "Sorry this pesky raccoon was trying to steal my sandwich." {He tries to shake it off} "Let go dammit!"

{{Meanwhile in the woods Conner and Benjamin finally stop to catch their breath}}

Conner: "Thanks for saving me back there."

Benjamin: "What are brothers for? You watch my back I watch yours."

Conner: "Why did they start shooting at us?"

Benjamin: "You got me, but if they want a war we'll give it to them." {Benjamin pulls a branch down and starts sharpening it}

Conner: "Right" *grabs some mud and applies it to his face*

The Gorge.

{Jimbo and Ned along with a handful of Truant officers arrive at the Gorge.}

Jimbo: "Alright what's this I heard about" {gets a look at Galt's face} "Good God I haven't seen a man's balls shattered that badly since Nam."

Ned: "mmm This isn't good Jimbo." {taps his wooden balls}

Jimbo: "I hear you Ned That had to hurt."

Yates: "The Kid's fled North toward the mountains."

Ned:mmm "We got him now there's no way out except through us."

Jimbo: "Alright men you have your orders we'll split into two teams and search the area for him, You are not to fire on him... OH MY GOD THAT BEAVER'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!" {Do I really have to type what happens next?}

"Anyway back to what I was saying safety's on we want him alive."

Ned: "Hmm move out!"

{{The posse moves into the woods ahead not knowing of what danger lies ahead, Ned leads the way as their smell hound}

Ned: {sniffing on the ground} "Hmm I've got his scent."

Jimbo: "That a boy Ned go get him." {Ned follows the scent over a log and gets caught in a snare that leaves him dangling from a tree}

Ned: "HMMM ARRRAAAGH HELP ME!"

Jimbo: "NED! HOLD ON BUDDY!" {Jimbo runs up to cut Ned down}

Truant officer: "I SEE HIM! *Points to Conner standing on a ledge before he disappears behind a tree*

Yates: "Get after him." {Yates leads the Truant officers after him only to find.}

Truant officer: "IT'S SOME KIND OF SCARECROW! {He touches it causing it to fire a sharpened wood dart into his arm}} "ARRGH HELLLLLPPPPPP MEEEEE!"

Yates: "JESUS CHRIST HE GOT SANDERSON."

Sanderson: "OH MY GOD!" {The other Truant officers rush to his aid}

Murphy: "Just hold on we're gonna get you out of here."

Sanderson {cry's out in pain}

Murphy: "Hanson, take care of Sanderson: the rest of you on me!"

{ Yates, Murphy and the Truant officers spread out to find Conner only to meet the same fate as the Sanderson.}

{A Truant officer walks past a tree and triggers a punji trap which pierces his legs}

Truant Officer!: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Murphy: "Oh my God!"

{Murphy rushes to help him but is stabbed in the leg from behind a tree by Conner who is illuminated by a flash of lightning}

Murphy: "ARHH! YATES! YATES HELP ME!"

Yates: {Hears Murphy's scream and rushes to help} "JESUS CHRIST NOT YOU TOO" {He takes his tie off and wraps it around Murphy's leg like a tourniquet} Listen to me Murphy we're going to get you out of here now I need you to hold on. {He moves to help the deputy get his legs out of the punji trap}

{Meanwhile Conner watches from tree top as two more Truant officers look for him down below}

Black Truant officer: {nervous} "What the hell's going on I thought we had him."

Mustached Truant officer: "We're not hunting he's hunting us!"

{Conner draws out his rifle and bayonet, He slashes one truant officer in the leg and stabs the other in the leg. Their Screams echo across the forest as Officer Barbrady runs off screaming like a little girl only to grabbed from behind by Conner who holds a knife to the incompetent officers throat!

Conner: {in a cold menacing voice} "We could have killed them all we could kill you," In town your the law, well sort of, not really." "Out here it's us don't push it don't push it or we'll give you a war you won't believe." "Let it go Let it go." {He releases Barbrady and disappears into the woods while Barbrady Breaks down hysterically in shock and fear}

{Cut to Commercial break.}

{{Holy Crap I think i need to change my pants! Next chapter we meet a new character who knows Conner inside and out. Can he stop Conner from waging war on South Park? Can Anyone? find out next chapter.}}


	4. Chapter 4

{Return From Commercial Break}

{Base camp at the bridge.}

{The mood of the base camp is frantic with the injured truant officers being brought in by helicopter to waiting ambulances and State Police and National guard and ATF mobilizing behind them. Tom Reports live on the scene }

Tom: "Somewhere in this rugged mountain countryside possibly above the snow line Ten year old fugitive Conner Kurtz is hiding, Units of the Colorado State Police and local members of the National Guard and ATF are being mobilized to assist. What still remains unexplained by local authorities is just how and where the former Young Marine came into possession of the weapons with which he tried to shoot up a local elementary school and then tried to kill four school truant officers two police detectives and three local volunteers and with which he shattered the testicles of one Truant officer leaving him in a testicular vegetative state. only their skilled training saved their lives and the Chief of Police says he is sure the suspect will be in custody in a matter of hours back to you in the studio Kevin." {The tv is turned off. as the scene switches to the Town Hall which is as usual for these situations is all full of Raddle.}

Concerned Adults: "Raddle Raddle Raddle Raddle."

Mayor: "Alright People settle down I know were are all a little unsettled by what's happening but If we slow down and speak one."

Sheila: "Mayor how could we let a child bring a loaded weapon into our school and endanger our children's lives like this?"

Sharon: "What's being done to keep our children safe?"

Mrs Tweak: "Who's to blame for all of this?"

Adults: "Raddle Raddle Raddle Raddle."

{In the back of the hall The kids are sitting down discussing the latest Hullabaloo.}

Stan: "Dude I know I say this a lot but this is pretty fucked up right here."

Kyle:"Yeah I got a feeling it's going to be one of those days."

Cartman: "What are you two assholes complaining about we got out of school early."

Stan: "Cartman there's more going on than just being let out early so you go home and eat cheesy poofs all day."

Butters: "I-I'm scared fellers I mean what if he comes back?"

Tweek: "Oh Sweet Jesus what if he's outside on a roof with a rifle waiting to pick us off?" {He pulls on his hair in his typical fashion.}

Cartman: "Well in that case Tweek I'd get my affairs in order I saw him looking at you on the bus He was definitely thinking about killing you!"

Tweek: "GAH! OH MY GOD I DON'T TO DIE!"

{Clyde breaks down crying as Craig walks up to Cartman and punches him in the head}

Cartman: "Ay Craig you Asshole I'll tell on you" {Craig just flips him off}

Craig: "Shut up and sit down."

Kyle: "What do you think Kenny?"

Kenny: (("I got a feeling I'm gonna die again?"))

Kyle: "Again? Kenny what are you talking about?"

Kenny: (("I keep telling you I die all the time" {sighs} "Just forget it."))

{Meanwhile The adults continues to ramble on in typical fashion}

Adults: "Raddle Raddle Raddle Raddle."

Mayor: "People people please I assure that every possible measure is being taken to deal with this crisis," {The crowd continues to ramble} "People If we can just {The crowd continues rambling} "If we can just speak one at a time" {The crowd continues rambling} {sighs} "What on earth possessed God in Heaven to make a kid like Kurtz."

{The doors to the city hall fly open and the crowd goes silent, A Middle aged but physically fit man dressed as a Drill Instructor walks into the room}

DI: "God Didn't make Conner, I made him."

Mayor: "And who are you?"

DI: "Barry Halfcock Master Gunnery Sergeant Barry Halfcock."

Mayor: "And what can we do for you Sergeant Hat Cough?"

Halfcock: "It's Halfcock and I've come to get my boy back."

Shelia: {stands up} "Excuse me your boy?"

Halfcock: "Yes Ma'm I Recruited him, I trained him I commanded him since he was eight years old, I'd say that makes him mine."

Gerald: "But why did they send you down here? If the boy's a runaway then we should let the police handle him."

Halfcock: "I think you misunderstood me, I didn't come to rescue Conner from you, I came to save you from him."

Randy: "Hold on a second Sergeant Hoodhawk I think your giving him a little too much credit huh huh Hoodhawk."

Sharon: "Yeah I mean even if you trained him like you said you did he's still just a kid."

Halfcock: "What's your name Ma'm?"

Sharon: "Sharon Marsh sir."

Halfcock: "Mrs Marsh you don't seem to understand that we're dealing with an expert in Survival and Guerrilla warfare, with a kid who's the best, With guns with knives with his bare hands, A Kid who's been trained to ignore pain to ignore weather, to survive in the wilderness, to live off the land, to eat things that would make the lunch lady puke. In The Young Marines his job was to improvise, adapt and overcome. There was nobody better in his platoon."

Mayor: "Alright Sergeant! alright you've got us all pretty scared what do you and the Young Marines propose we do about your psycho out there?"

Halfcock: "Let him go, for now defuse the whole situation defuse him, provide him a little gap and let him slip through it. Then put out a Statewide APB in a couple of weeks you'll pick him up in Denver or someplace, shoveling driveways, there won't be a fight and nobody else will get hurt."

Mrs Testaburger: "That's outrageous! He's a threat to our children's safety we can't just let him go."

Halfcock: "Well if you send anymore people out there they'll just get killed, Your Posse was very lucky to get out alive."

Yates: "You know we're just a small hick town police department but we expect our police officers to do their duty just like our little heroes in the Young Marines".

Halfcock: "In the Young Marines We teach kids to stay alive in the line of duty."

Yates: "Well no shit Sergeant I never thought of that?"

Halfcock: "I don't like your tone Sergeant, You want a war you can't win?"

Yates: "Are you telling me 200 men against one kid is a no win situation?"

Halfcock: {Turns to leave} "If you send that many don't forget one thing."

Mayor: "What?"

Halfcock: "A good supply of ice bags for your balls."{ Overdramatic thunder clap}

{Halfcock leaves the room with the boys following close behind.}

Kyle: "Sergeant Hat Cough."

Halfcock: What is it?

Kyle: "My name's Kyle and I was wondering is it really true what you said about Conner? That's he's trained to kill and stuff?"

Halfcock: "Every word of it Son."

Kyle: "But doesn't he have any family? On the bus he told us he was from San Diego and he had a patch on his Jacket that said US Young Marine Corps San Diego."

Halfcock: "You actually talked to him?"

Stan: "Yeah he just walked up to us at the bus stop this morning."

Halfcock: "Just like that, nothing happened on the bus?"

Stan: No Everything was normal until after we got to class, then everything just went nuts?Clyde:

"Sgt Hopcod?"

Halfcock: It's Hapcod I mean Halfcock !"

{The boys all break into laughter for several seconds until only Cartman is left laughing.}

Clyde: What did I say?

Cartman: {breaks down laughing into tears} AHAHAHAHAHA!

{Continues laughing until Halfcock shouts at him}

Halfcock: "STOP GRAB ASSING AND AND SIT DOWN!"

{Cartman gulps and sits down stifling a giggle.}

Halfcock: "What did you want to say son?"

Clyde: "It's just I was talking with some of the other guys and they said Mr Mackey and the truant officers were kind of hard on Conner".

Halfcock: "Hard how?"

Clyde: "Well they said they heard that one of the Truant officers beat him."

Halfcock: "Jesus Fubar Christ!"

Stan: "Sergeant Hairblock?"

Halfcock: "Halfcock!"

Stan: "Sorry Sir you didn't tell us what happened to Conner's family."

Halfcock: "Alright sit down and I'll tell you."

{Cut to Commercial Break.}

{What happened to Conner to turn him from a model Young Marine into a fugitive from justice? Where's his family? and will Benjamin go to prison for contributing to the delinquency of a minor? read the next chapter and find out.}


	5. Chapter 5

{Return from Commercial Break}

{Sgt Halfcock tells the boys about Conner's past.}

Halfcock: "Conner was 8 years old when he joined us." { The scene transitions to Conner who's hiding in a mine shaft, He has two M16s several magazines, a police radio and a lit fire. He looks at a picture of his family while Benjamn tends to his wounded arm. We zoom in on the picture while Sgt Halfcock narrates.}

Halfcock: "His Parents and Older brother were all in the Marine Corps, His Father Dwight was a 1st SGT and a veteran of The American-Canadian War, Afghanistan and Iraq." "His Mother Sarah was a Senior Drill Instructor MST Gunnery SGT before she married Dwight "She wore the pants in the house. and then there was Benjamin his Older Brother." {Conner looks up at Benjamin and smiles*} "Conner looked up to him as a role model, always talked about how he wanted to be like Benjamin when he grew up."

Stan: "What happened to them?"

Halfcock: "The Pandemic happened Son." {Conner's mind flashes back through a fast incoherent sequence of memories. First he is in a car with his family a Guinea Steer rams into it. Next a wounded Sarah pulls Conner out of the wrecked vehicle but not before one of the guinea pigs scratches him across the face. the third memory shows Sarah Carrying him to safety as Dwight and Benjamin in full combat gear hold off four giant guinea pigs.

Dwight: {GUNFIRE AND SQUEAKING IN THE BACKGROUND} "JUST GO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Benjamin: "CONNER DON'T LOOK BACK!"

{{The next memory shows a gravely injured Sarah holding Conner in her bloody lap. The final memory shows Conner walking back to the wreckage of the car Benjamin who is now fully healed is waiting for him.}}

{Flashback}

Conner: {Through teary eyes} "Benjamin!" {He runs up and hugs him}

Benjamin: "Where's Mom?"

Conner: "S-S-She She she's... {Conner breaks down crying.}

Benjamin: "I'm sorry we tried to buy you two some time."

Conner: "Where's Dad?"

Benjamin: "He's...Gone Bro."

{Conner starts crying into Benjamin's shoulder.}

Benjamin: "Listen to me Conner It isn't safe here we have to go."

Conner: "Go where?"

Benjamin: "I don't know."

{They gather up the weapons and supplies from the car and pack them up as the flashback ends.}

Conner: "Hey Ben?"

Benjamin: "Yes Bro?"

Conner: "I miss Mom and Dad."

Benjamin: "I miss them too."

{The radio crackles to life. Conner and Benjamin both turn to look at it.}

Radio: "Attention Conner Kurtz Attention Conner Kurtz If you can hear this you little shoot e'm up Sally then here's the situation." { The scene transitions to the Council meeting Hall where The Mayor and the Council are sitting watching as Mr Mackey now sporting a bandaged head and bruised ribs tries to contact Conner.}

"You are outnumbered 200 to one M'kay every exit out of the mountains is sealed every road every highway and every firebreak M'kay. "There is no escape you little bastard! So you might as well make it easy on yourself and turn yourself in M'kay".

{Gerald concerned about Mr Mackey's tone pushes him aside to talk to Conner.}

Gerald: "Conner I want you to know that we just don't want anyone else to get hurt We promise your service in the Young Marines will be taken into consideration if you turn yourself in."

{From the back we can see Token and Craig eavesdropping on the meeting. They rush back to tell the guys.}

Token: "Guys They're trying to contact Conner on the radio."

Kyle: "What did they say?"

Craig: "We didn't anything but it didn't look like he was going to pick up."

Stan: Come on guys lets go. {The boys plus Sgt Halfcock head for the council room}

Kyle: "Mayor!"

Mayor: "What now?"

Gerald: "Kyle what are you doing here?"

Kyle: "Dad can we try talking to Conner?"

Gerald: "No Kyle this is serious besides he's not responding?"

Halfcock: "No surprise there He's not gonna break radio silence for the authorities."

Mr Mackey: "Well then Sgt why don't your little psycho and see If you can persuade him to spare our lives."

Sgt Halfcock: "You want me to flush him out for you? That's like bringing the mice to the snake."

Dr Adams: "Or the Young Boys to the Penn State Locker room Heh heh {Nobody laughs} Thats okay I got a million of them like try this one a Penn State Administrator walks into a bar."

{Cartman and Kenny both facepalm}

Cartman: "Oh My God would you just shut the fuck up!"

Stan: "Yeah Dude your not funny"

Dr Adams: "Aw C'mon are you kidding there kidding right?"

{The council just stares at him}

Dr Adams: "What about?... Oh I got one... I'll shut up now"

Cartman: "Jesus Christ"

Kyle: "Can we try it Dad?"

Gerald: I suppose so. {He gets up and lets Halfcock sit down.}

Halfcock: "Company leader calling Cobra come in. Cobra Company leader calling Cobra Company leader to Cobra talk to me Conner." {Conner and Benjamin are resting when they hear Halfcock over the radio. Conner picks it up.}

"Company Leader to identified Baker Team, Kurtz, Mezner, Ortega, Parker, Stone, Delmore, Danforth Confirm. This is Gunnery Sergeant Halfcock talk to me Conner."

{The council listens to with anticipation to see If Conner will pick up. finally when it seems they were unsuccessful the silence breaks.}

Conner: "They're all gone sir."

Halcock: "Conner are you alright over?"

Conner: "Baker team their all dead sir."

Halfcock: "Their not Dead Conner they made it out alive."

Conner: "It's good to hear that sir."

Halfcock: "It's good to hear your voice again Conner, listen you've done some damage down here."

{Meanwhile in the next room Sgt's Yates and Murphy listen in on the radio chatter and triangulate Conner's position.}

Murphy: "He's Northwest."

Halfcock: "That's why I've come I'm gonna come in and fly the hell out of there just like old times."

Conner: "Where did you come from sir?"

Halfcock: "San Diego."

Conner: "How are things in San Diego?"

Halfcock: "Same as always still sitting little devil dogs like you through obedience school."

Conner: "I wish I was back at San Diego now."

Halfcock: "We'll talk about it when you come in."

Conner: "I'm afraid we can't do that sir?"

Halfcock: "Look Conner we can't have you running around friendly schools with guns now can we?"

Conner: "They're are no more friendly schools."

Halfcock: "I'm your friend Conner, I stuck it out with you through and through all the way through Boot Camp when you were knee deep in all those scrapes and bruises. I wiped your nose more than once. Seems like bailing you out of trouble is beginning to become a lifetime job for me."

Conner: "They're wouldn't be any trouble except for that King Shit Counselor, {everyone in the room looks at Mackey} All I wanted was a chance to explain but the man kept pushing us."

Halfcock: "I understand you did some pushing of your own Conner."

Conner: "They drew First Blood not me."

Halfcock: "Listen to me Conner let me come in and get out of there, I don't want you up on that mountain alone."

Conner: "I'm not alone Sir Benjamin's with me."

Halfcock: "Benjamin? That's impossible Conner you and I {sigh} You and I both know Benjamin is gone."

Conner: "HE"S NOT GONE HE"S ALWAYS BEEN WITH ME SINCE SAN DIEGO!"

Halfcock: "Conner I know it hurts what happened to your folks but they're gone now."

Conner: "No Benjamin is still with me He's here right now."

Halfcock: "Then I can I talk to him?"

Benjamin: "Conner we have to cut the chatter they're tracking us."

Conner: "I have to go now sir over and out." {He turns off the radio.}

Halfcock: :Conner? Conner? Conner do you read me? Conner come in? Company leader to Cobra? Come in" {sighs}

{Yates and Murphy come into the room}

Yates: "That's it Sgt Haircough we got him, As soon as the weather clears up we're putting every man we've got on that ridge."

Halfcock: {rises out of the chair and talks to him} "After what's happened you still think you have a chance Sgt Yates?"

Yates: "We've got the State Police we've got the National Guard and we've got ATF Agents are you saying that's not enough to catch your little bastard out there?"

Halfcock: "I'm saying your dealing with someone who's been trained never to retreat never to surrender, someone who's been trained to eliminate anything that stands in his way."

Yates: "And that we can't police our own community?"

Halfcock: "Don't be an asshole Yates If a Blizzard or an avalanche ripped through your community you tell your police force to stay inside and wait it out. Now this kid is an avalanche everything that tries to block him gets knocked away. Now that's the truth either live with it or die with it but If you send men on that ridge people are going to get killed."

Yates: "Alright Listen Head Lock you had your chance to talk him down and you blew it." Now we're gonna do things my way."

Kyle: "Dad you've got to do something."

Gerald: "I'm sorry Kyle It's out of my hands now."

Stan: "Dad can't we do anything?"

Randy: "Stan I promise you nothing bad is going to happen to your little friend."

Stan: "Like when you promised me you'd buy me a bike If shoveled the driveway last week?"

Randy: "I'll get you ice cream on the way home."

Stan: "Damn it!" {The boys leave the room leaving Halfcock and Mr Mackey behind."

Halfcock: "Mr Lackey?"

Mackey:"It's Mackey M'kay."

Halfcock: "We have to talk."

Mackey: "Mkay Sergeant what's on your mind?"

Halfcock: "I was talking to the boys out there and they said your truant officers were pretty hard on him."

Mackey: "Our Truant officers were doing their job which is to keep our students and faculty safe M'kay."

Halfcock: "And how does beating a 4th grader with nightsticks help keep things safe?"

Mackey: "Now give me any of that bullshit M'kay If-If one of my truant officers get's out of line then the student comes to me to complain M'kay and I find out it's like he says then I kick the Truant officers ass Me! the Guidance Counselor! that's how the rules work. People start fucking around with the rules and all hell breaks loose."

Halfcock: "It was reckless and stupid to confront him with force, the only reason he retaliated was because you struck first."

Mackey: "NEED I REMIND YOU SGT THAT HE DISCHARGED HIS WEAPON ON SCHOOL PROPERTY AND HIJACKED A BUS AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF HE INJURED FOUR TRUANT OFFICERS AND PUT GALT IN A TESTICULAR VEGETATIVE STATE!"

{Sergeant Halfcock chuckles.}

Mackey: IT'S NOT FUNNY M'KAY!"

{Mackey's hair starts to get messed up like it does when he's angry as his voice lowers to a chilling low.}

Mackey: "Now you had your chance to get him your way and you blew it You blew it straight to hell M'kay. Now we get them my way and I hope that meets with your approval Sergeant."

{Sergeant Halfcock looks at him with pity and heads for the door.}

Halfcock: "We I wish you the best of luck with your impending massacre Counselor."

{He leaves the room as Mr Mackey picks up a cup of coffee and fixes his hair as he looks out the window toward the mountains.}

Mackey: "I swear to God I'm gonna get you Kurtz and when I do I'm gonna pin that junior leadership medal to your cold dead chest M'kay."

{Cut to Commercial.}

{Wow That went really well folks. Is Benjamin really who he says he is? What's Mr Mackey got planned for our hero? Will Randy keep his promise to get the boys some ice cream? read the next chapter and find out.}


	6. Chapter 6

{Return from Commercial break}

{A cute little bunny rabbit hops through the woods while Spring song by Mendelssohn plays in the background. The bunny sniffs a flower while looking soooooooooo cute. Little does he notice the shadow in the tree above him until it's too late.}

{Conner picks up the rabbits remains with his spear and walks back to the mine tunnel. where Benjamin who is resting against the wall.}

Conner: "Wake up Ben!"

{Benjamin shuffles and wakes up.}

Benjamin: Your back early what's the news are they still searching for us?"

Conner: "They're gone for now I went out and got dinner while you were sleeping." {Conner holds up the spear with the skinned rabbit on it.}

{Cuts to the fire and pot where Benjamin and Conner are eating Rabbit stew.}

Benjamin: "I haven't had rabbit stew like this since we went hunting with Dad."

Conner: "Yeah those sure were good times weren't they."

Benjamin: "Sure were."

Conner: "So what's the plan for tomorrow."

Benjamin "It's starting to get dark so I guess we'll settle in here for the night and see what tomorrow brings."

Conner: "Hey Benjamin?"

Benjamin: "Yes?"

Conner: "I'm glad your still with me."

Benjamin: "So am I bro you don't have to worry about me abandoning you." {he puts his hand on Conner's shoulder and smiles at him, while we cut to the sun going down over the Rockies.}

{Meanwhile in Stan's bedroom his parents are installing a metallic shutter over his window and and sandbags around his room}

Stan: {Irritated} "Mom Dad is this really necessary?"

Sharon: "Now Sweetie this is for your own safety, no flattop trigger happy maniac is gonna lay a finger on my baby boy." {She kisses him on the forehead and puts him into bed. which she then surrounds with bulletproof bubble and barbed wire.}

Stan: "Dad! Say something!"

Randy: "Don't worry Stan we remembered to guard your sister."

{Cuts to Shelly's room where she's angrily pounding on her bubble.}

Shelly: "Thisss iss all your fault Ssstan when I break out of here I'm gonna kill you"

{Back to Stan's room.}

Randy: "And even your Grandpa has taken precautions."

{Cuts to Grandpa who's covered in a ballistic shell which prevents him from moving. He tries to move back and forth but tips over in the process and moans.}

Randy: "Goodnight Stan sleep tight." {He turns out the lights}

Sharon: "Don't let the psychopath's bite" {mutters to herself} "I've got such a nice boy such a precious little angel."

{As soon as they leave the room Stan springs into action or at least tries to but the protective bubble won't break}

Stan: "Ah Goddamn it!" { He charges the bubble several times but I won't budge} "How the hell am I supposed to break out of this?" {suddenly as if by an answer to his prayers Shelly kicks down his door.}

Shelly: "Wheeze wheeze your dead Ssstan!"

Stan: {Suddenly gets an idea} "Na na na na Hey Shelly come get me oh wait you can't" {moons her and does his impression of her with his butt.} "I'm Shelly I'm so butt ugly that no boy in school will go out me Sssttupid turd!"

{Shelly turns red and blows steam out her ears and nostrils}

Shelly: "YOU DIE TURD!" {she rips the steel shutter off Stan's window and smashes the bubble with it}

Stan: AHHH! { He breaks into a run grabbing his clothes and shoes and dodging Shelly while directional arrows appear on screen like in Dragon's Lair and jumps out the window landing in the snow before running on to Kyle's house. leaving Shelly to shake her fist in rage and then shed a tear?}

Shelly: {Sniff sniff} "I'm not butt ugly." {she breaks down crying.}

Grandpa: {falls down again off screen} "Goddamn son of a whore!"

{Stan takes out his cell phone and call's Kyle.}

Kyle: {picks up his phone.} "Hey dude what's up?"

Stan: "Dude we have to find Conner before the national guard does."

Kyle: "Are you serious? do you know how late it is?"

Stan: "Kyle are with me or not?"

Kyle: "Of Course I am Stan but we have one small problem."

Stan: "What's that?"

Kyle: "My Parents." {Zooms out to reveal Kyle's bed is protected by laser beams, sentry turrets and a squadron of Quadrotors.}

{Stan reaches the front of Kyle's house only to find it guarded by a watch tower barbed wire, machine gun nests and and search lights}

Stan: "Man and I thought my parents were over reacting." {The theme from Rambo First Blood Part 2 plays as Stan slips past the searchlights crawls under the barbed wire and evades Ike who's in an cute little Canadian army helmet and carrying a hockey stick. He takes out some Reese's pieces and throws it into the bushes to distract Ike then runs over and flips the power switch shutting off the security systems.}

Kyle: {Climbs out of the window fully dressed} "Thanks Stan."

Stan: "Don't mention it dude."

{They head for Kenny's house.}

Stuart: "There you go son" {hands Kenny a shotgun with a missing trigger}

Kenny: ("Where's the trigger?")

Stuart: "Oh Your brother lost it somewhere. I don't know."

Carol: "Well good night Kenny sleep tight."

Stuart: "Don't let the rats bite." {Turns the light off and shuts the door}

Kenny: ("I got a feeling I'm gonna die tonight.") {There's a tapping at his window} ("Huh?") {He goes over to see Stan and Kyle at his window.} ("Hey guys")

Stan: "Kenny get up we're going to look for Conner!"

Kenny: ( "What are you crazy we could get killed!")

Kyle: "Kenny we can't let the National Guard catch him first."

Kenny: ("Why not It's their job not ours.")

Stan: "Just cause dude."

Kyle: "Yeah."

Kenny: ("Fine let me just do one thing.") {He goes over to his bedroom drawer and pulls out a familiar costume.

{Karen is sleeping in her room quietly when a hooded figure lands in her window and walks up to her.

?: "Sleep soundly Karen I promise I'll be back soon."

Karen: {Talks in her sleep} "Angel you'll always watch out for me?"

?: "Always Karen" {He kisses her on the cheek} and covers her up with the blanket} "Sleep tight and remember I'm always looking out you." {and like that he vanishes.}

{ ? walks up to Stan and Kyle Causally.}

Stan: "Dude your still playing that?"

?: "Let's go"{He spins up the shotgun Evil Dead style}

{They head for Cartman's house}

Cartman: "Mahm why do we have to have this thing in the house?"

FunnyBot: "Perimeter secure all quiet on the western bedroom front. Thank you for the new Gig Mrs Cartman."

Liane: "Your welcome FunnyBot." "Now Eric Funnybot is here to make sure your safe in your room tonight. "{Funny Bot draws out his miniguns and and starts surveying the room.

Funnybot: "Scanning for signs of target Conner Kurtz...Also scanning for close up shots of of Sarah Jessica Parker's {voice changes} Horse Vagina...Awkward!"

Liane: "Good night Poopsiekins." {She turns the lights off and shuts the door}

Funnybot: "Good night Eric."

Cartman: "Asshole."

{His cell phone rings, he picks it up}

Cartman: "Hello."

Stan: "Cartman get your ass out here we're going to look for Conner."

Cartman: "I would if I could but my mahm's got Tom Servo over here watching me."

Stan: "Well find a way to to get rid of him."

Cartman: {Thinks up a plan} "FunnyBot I would like a glass of warm milk."

Funnybot: "My polygraph sensors indicate this is a ruse to get rid of me."

Cartman: "But FunnyBot my Mom always gives me a glass of warm milk to help me go to sleep."

Funnybot: "Who do you take me for {Voice changes} Amanda Bynes Vagina Monster?"

Cartman: {Starts screeching} "BUUTTTTTTTT FUUUUUNNNNNYYYYBOOOOOOOTTTTTTT I NEED A GLASS OF MILK TO GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEP!" {Starts screeching super high}

FunnyBot: "Alright already" {throws his arms up} "I'll get you a glass of milk" "Fucking fat piece of shit" { drives himself to the kitchen muttering under his breath} "Glass of milk I'll get him a fucking glass of milk I'll shove it up his fucking Asshole, Fucking Fat ass all I ever do is solve his fucking problems all day stupid fucker I fucking hate him."

{While Funnybot is fuming about his hatred for Cartman he fails to notice said fatass creeping up behind him until...Cartman pushes him down the stairs} "AHHHHHH!{ He destroys most of the stairway on the way down.}

{Meanwhile Cartman climbs out the window and manages to land on ? killing him instantly}

Stan: "Oh My God Cartman killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You Bastard!"

{But the boys soon forget this and head to Kenny's house and knock on his window.}

Stan: "Kenny?" {Kenny climbs out of his bed and rubs his eyes}

Kyle: "Why did you go back home?"

Cartman: "Yeah butt licker we gotta go."

Kenny: ("But I and you and Cartman fell on me...)

{Kenny's sighs and head over to his dresser drawer.}

{Meanwhile at the Cartman residence...}}

Liane: {Comes down armed with a leadhead dildo to investigate the crash} "Oh my Funnybot what happened!"

Funnybot: {Groans} "Humans build robot robot tries to kill humans human teach robot meaning of comedy robot looks for new gig robot takes home security job humans knock robot down stairs AKWARD!"

{Cut to Commercial break.}

{{Will The Boys get to Conner before the authorities do? What will their parents do when they find out they are missing? And Will FunnyBot be alright? Read and review to find out.}


	7. Chapter 7

{Return from Commercial break}

{The boys are sneaking through the neighborhood which proves difficult due to the police and national guard patrols. Suddenly a patrol car drives up toward them.}

Cartman "Damn it's the cops what do we do?"

Stan: {looks around} "quick into that bush."

{The boys dive into a bush but find it a little cramped}

Kyle: "Did they see us?"

Stan: "I don't think so."

Cartman: "You guys I think my foot is tangled up" . {tries to pull his foot loose and cuts a loud long fart}

Kyle: "Dude sick!" {pulls his jacket over his nose.}

?:"That is fucking disgusting!"

Stan: "You guys be quiet they're gonna hear us."

Kyle: "Tell that to Cartman's ass!"

{The police car pulls up in front of the bush and Officer Barbrady pokes his head out to investigate}

Cartman: "You shut your goddamn Joo Mouth!"

Kyle: "Don't start with me Cartman!"

?: "Will you guys shut up! there gonna spot us." {Barbrady waves his flashlight over the boys}

Stan: {whispers} "Oh Shit he's spotted us."

{Barbrady having the boys arguing comes to the only logical conclusion that comes to his mind.}

Barbrady: "Just a couple of raccoons" {puts his window up and drives off.}

{The boys come out of the bush and breathe a sigh of relief and fresh air.}

Stan: "Dude that was way too close."

Kyle: {Gags} "Yeah another second in there in there and I would have died for sure."

Cartman: "Come on you guys it wasn't that bad!"

?: {dry heaves} "Not bad it smelled like rotten eggs marinated in manure in a heatwave."

Cartman: "Ay I'm not the one who wanted to break out after dark. My Mom's probably worried sick."

{We now cut to Liane Cartman who's in the basement holding FunnyBot upside down dressed as Princess Leia in her slave girl outfit.}

Liane: "You've been a bad bad FunnyBot and now you must be punished." {She burns his underside with that heat torture thing they were torturing droids with in RotJ}

Funnybot: "AHHH! OH YES YES YES YEESSSSSSSSSSSS PUNISH ME! {Liane shocks him with a cattle prod} UHHUHHHHH! YEESSSSSSSSSS" {He dispenses a cigarette and lights it with his finger.}

{Anyway back to the boys.}

Stan: "Alright guys lets just go before someone else sees us" {The upstairs window opens}

Butters: "Hey fellers what are you doing in my bushes?"

{He notices Mysterion.}

Butters: "Are you playing Superheroes again? hold on" {He goes into his closet and steps out as PROFESSOR CHAOS! pause, BRINGER OF DESTRUCTION AND DOOM!}

PC: {Stands out the window} "Ha ha ha you puny superheroes will never stop me hah hah hah Whoa whoa Whoaa!" {He falls out the window landing face first in the snow} "Aw Dammit!"

Stan: "Butters we're not playing superheroes were going out to find Conner before the Army does?"

Butters: {adjusts his crumpled headwear} "I thought they were the Marines?"

Cartman: "Army Marines same thing."

Butters: "Can I come?"

Kyle: "You wouldn't be interested Butters."

Butters: "Nuh uh."

Cartman: "Oh please you'd be all like." {does an impression of Butters} "Oh Hamburgers please don't cut up I'm just a little pussy."

Butters: "Now listen here I'm sick and tired of people treating me like a little kid I'm old enough to stay up till 7:30 I'm old enough to come on adventures with you guys."

Stan: "Okay fine Butters you can come with us but you got to be quiet."

Butters: "Quiet right got you."

{The boys reach the roadblock leading over the bridge into the mountains guarded by Police ATF and National Guardsmen.}

Kyle: "Holy Shit they must have every police officer in town here."

Stan: {Notices the ATF truck with with the Negotiator cannon being wheeled up.} "Oh fuck not these guys again!"

Butters: "Oh Hamburgers It's those guys that tried to kill during that meteor shower because they thought we were a cult or something."

Kyle: "How the hell do we get past these guys?"

?: "Leave that to me." {holds up some Chinese fire crackers.}

{Commander Danny Gans and General Plymkin are busy discussing the operation.}

Plymkin: "Alright At first light we begin stage one send out the cannon fodder to identify Kurtz's position." {uses the pole to move a black soldier figure with a bullseye painted on it into the mountains.} "After we've identified his position and recovered the bodies, we'll begin stage two send in your crack negotiator to negotiate with extreme prejudice."

{The "Negotiator" operator gives a thumbs up.}

Gans: "Alright but I should remind you the ATF is an agency that prides itself on the use of restraint. Our Negotiator will only fire a few warning shots to get him to come out."

General Plymkin: "And if he shows violence?"

{Meanwhile Mysterion slips by the ATF's defenses slipping firecrackers under the police cars}

Gans: "Don't worry we're trained to deal with kids this is just like Ruby Ridge."

Plymkin: "But you guys fucked up Ruby Ridge."

Gans: "That wife and son gave us no choice but to open fire!" {the firecrackers go off startling the police and the troops}

Plymkin: "It's Kurtz he's shooting at us!" {They both get down}

Gans: { Gets down and calls in on the radio} "GANS TO ALL ATF AGENTS SUSPECT IS OPENING FIRE ON US RETURN FIRE!"

Plymkin: "This is General Plymkin ALL WHITE TROOPS TAKE COVER!"

ATF Agent 1: {firing wildly} "I can't see him." {Shoots dead two guardsmen}

ATF Agent 2: "Where is he?" {Fires a rocket launcher blowing up a police car.}

Soldier: "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS YOU LITTLE BASTARD! {Fires a LMG wildly shooting out windows randomly before he is gunned down.}

{The Negotiator fires several rounds indiscriminately destroying several buildings including the Propane Dealer the the Fireworks store and the McCormick's Meth lab, The explosion blows down the wall to their bathroom revealing Stuart taking a dump."

Stuart: "Aw God Damn it Honey the bathroom wall blew down again."

?: {dodging gunfire and explosion left and right} "Hey watch it don't shoot" {dodges an rocket} "Oh shit this is bad this is bad this is bad" {All the while dodging bullets}

{The boys watch in disbelief as the ATF and The National Guard effectively take out their own blockade.}

Stan: "Jesus."

Kyle: "Christ."

Cartman: "Dude."

Butters: "Amen."

Cartman: {facepalms} "Butters god dammit."

{Mysterion lands next to them out of breath. He checks himself for injuries miraculously not having a scratch on him}

?: "I'm alive? I'm alive I'M ALIVE" {Points up at the sky} "In Your face Mother" {a Police car explodes sending a bumper straight for him. Fortunately for Kenny It misses him by inches} "Okay I get I won't push my luck."

Stan: "Kenny Jesus Christ what the hell was that?"

?: "I swear they were just supposed to duck and cover."

Kyle: "Let's just get out of here before anything else happens."

{The Boys awkwardly walk pass the carnage they inadvertently caused. whistling all the way}

{We transition to a mountainous wooded area.}

Cartman: "C'mon you guys it' just over this way."

Stan: "You said that three hours ago dude."

Kyle: "Face it Cartman we're lost."

Cartman: "We're not lost Private Jewker we just don't know where we are."

Kyle: "That is lost Fatass."

Cartman: Trust me I know where I'm going.

Kyle: "This is pointless we're walking around aimlessly and we haven't scene one single sign of Conner."

?: "Hold you Guys where's Butter's?"

Stan: "He was right behind us."

Cartman: "Probably pussied out and ran home."

Kyle: "C'mon guys we got to find him."

{The boys separate to look for Butters. who has somehow gotten lost from them.}

Butters: {shivers} "F-fellas? F-f-fellas? Where are you?" {he hears a bush rustle} "Uh Fella's is that you?" {a silhouette moves through the trees} "Uh Loo loo loo I got some apples" {looks around nervously} "Loo loo loo y-you got s-some too." {His suddenly jumped from behind by Conner}

{Butters Screams, echoing through the forest.}

Kyle: "Butters? Butters!"{echoes}

Stan: "Butters! Butters!"

Cartman: "Butters!"

?: "It came from this way lets go."

{The Boys follow Mysterion through the woods. Meanwhile Conner has Butters by the collar holding his Ka Bar knife to his throat. As soon as he sees Butters Pee his pants he realizes that he's not a threat and lets him go.}

Conner: "What the hell are you doing out here?"

Butters: "I-I {Quickly jumps back into PROFESSOR CHAOS} HA HA HA! FOOLISH MORTAL YOU DO DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR ARE MESSING WITH! I AM PROFESSOR CHAOS! BRINGER OF DESTRUCTION AND DOOM!"

Conner: "You just Pissed yourself!" {looks down} "and you got it on my boots!"

Butters: {Goes back to being scared Butters} "Oh no I-i'm s-so sorry i-it's just I have a very w-weak bladder and I pee myself If I get startled. p-please don't kill me."

{Conner just looks at him for several seconds until he hears the boys calling for Butters}

Stan: "Butters!"

Kyle: "Butters!"

Cartman: "Butters!"

Conner: {looks back to Butters} "You don't move an inch until I get back Understand?"

Butters: "Y-y-yes S-s-sir" { Gives a trembling salute which Conner returns.}

{Meanwhile the boys continue to look for Butters.}

Kyle: "Butters!"

Stan: "Butters!"

Kyle: "This is bad he could be hurt or something!"

Stan: "Or maybe the cops are right and Conner got him?"

Cartman: "Well he's probably dead lets go home guys."

Kyle: {shivers} "We can't just leave him Cartman."

Cartman: "I'm just saying he's probably dead!"

Stan: "Look lets spilt up Kyle and I can go this way Cartman you and Kenny go that way."

Cartman: "Why do I have to go with Kenny?"

?: "Because you lost him fatass!"

Cartman: "Ay I don't to have to take this crap Screw you guys I'm going home."

{Cartman leaves the group.}

Kyle: "Go on then leave you pussy I hope he cuts you man I hope he fucking cuts you!"

Cartman: {turns back them} "Screw you Kyle! Stupid Jews probably gonna get caught in some booby trap and killed, and then who's gonna laughing me Ha ha ha AHHHH!" {suddenly he is tripped and dragged behind a tree} "YOOOOUU GUUUUYS HEEEELLLLPPPP MEEEEEEE!

Stan and Kyle: "CARTMAN!

{Stan and Kyle rush to help him but are ambushed by Conner who elbows Kyle in the face and whips Stan against a tree with his arm locked behind his back and a knife to his throat.}

Conner: "Stan? {He releases Stan} What are you guys doing out here?"

Stan: {Rubs his arm} "We're looking for you dude."

Kyle: "The whole town is looking for you, They're gonna send out the National Guard."

Stan: "Wait a minute where's Kenny?"

{Suddenly Conner is jumped from above By Mysterion who knocks his Ka-Bar out of his hand and kicks him in the chest.}

Conner: "Ugh!"

Stan and Kyle: "KENNY!"

Conner: {Jumps back to feet and gets into a karate stance} "Nice getup? Who are you supposed to be Mintberry Crunch?"

?: "I'm the guy that's gonna kick your ass for hurting my friends oh and Cartman too."

Cartman: "Screw you Kinny!"

Conner: "Very well Are You man enough to fight with me?"

?: "I am the Hero this town needs." {Gets into a fighting stance.}

Round 1 FIGHT!

Conner: "ARGHHHHHHHH!"

?: "ARGHHHHHHH!"

{Conner and Mysterion slowly morph into anime fighting characters and charge at each other in what is sure to be an epic all out knockdown ass kicking bubblegum chewing fight}

{Cut to Commercial.}

{{Holy Crap This is gonna be awesome I'm gonna get a bowl of soup you guys read and review and I'll see you next chapter.}}


	8. Chapter 8

{Return from Commercial break.}

{Conner and Mysterion morph back into their normal selves as they make contact. Conner fighting with the fighting skills honed through years of Karate and MCMAP Classes and Mysterion fighting with the skills learned defending himself from his drunk ass family. Conner takes the upper hand early on blocking and countering every one of Mysterion's strikes. but the hero soon takes the upper hand catching Conner's Roundhouse kick in his cape and tripping him. Conner strikes back with a sweep kick that takes Kenny off his feet followed up by an axe kick that misses when the hooded hero rolls out of the way. Kenny draws a throwing star and throws towards Conner draws his KaBar and slices it out of the air}

Stan: "Holy Shit did you see that?"

{Conner bares his knife towards Kenny.}

Conner: "Your gonna have to do better than that."

? : "I intend to."

{Mysterion draws out a rope and loops it around Conner's wrist pulling the knife from his hands.}

? : "GET OVER HERE!

{Mysterion pulls him in close and clotheslines him. Conner responds by grabbing the hero's leg and throwing him of balance, but his plan to mount him goes bad when Mysterion grabs him behind the neck, head butts him and throws him off. Conner jumps to his feet and takes on a fighting stance.}

Conner: "Not bad."

{Conner goes on the offensive throwing two roundhouse kicks in a row, Kenny having felt one of these earlier dodges them easily, but Conner surprises him with a reverse crescent kick that nails him right in the face sending him to the ground}

Conner: "But I expected better."

{He wearily picks up his knife and walks over to the fallen hero who slowly picks himself off the ground stumbling to stand.}

Kyle: "I can't watch this anymore someone's gonna get seriously hurt."

{Conner walks over to Mysterion}

Conner: "So you hadn't had enough?"

? :"You Can't Kill Me."

{Suddenly Kyle steps in between them}

Kyle: "That's enough!"

?: "Get out of the way Kyle!"

Kyle: "No Kenny it's cool dude."

?: "He tried to kill us."

Conner: I thought you were the police or the national guard or something.

?: "So you weren't trying to kill us?"

Conner: "Well Maybe Cartman."

Cartman: "Well Screw you Major Pain in the Ass!" {Conner throws his knife at him hitting the the tree behind him.}

Conner: "Cartman shut up!"

{Later back at Conner's cave he fills the boys in on what happened!}

Conner: "And that's how I ended up here."

Kyle: "Dude you brought a gun into the school!"

{He steps away from Conner}

Conner: "It's not like that I swear, when I got on the bus I felt like for the first time I might actually have a chance at a normal life again."

Stan: "What's that got to do with bringing a loaded gun to our school?"

Conner: "I forgot I had on me okay? when you trek across hundreds of miles of wilderness with an M16 you kind of get used to it?"

Kyle: "That's another thing how did you survive all time on your own?"

{Conner pulls out a photo of his family}

Conner: "Well to be honest Kyle I haven't been alone all this time."

Kyle: Well then who have you been with?

Conner: "Benjamin of course?"

Stan: "But Sgt Halfcock said your brother died during the pandemic."

Conner: "He's not dead He's been with me every step of the way."

Stan: "Well then where is he?"

Conner: "Probably out scouting somewhere he'll be back soon He always comes back when I need him".

Kyle: "Conner does Benjamin come and go often?"

Conner: {stands up very offended} What the hell does that mean?

Kyle: "Whoa dude calm down!"

Conner: "Benjamin's been with me the whole time, He's the one who got me out on that bus when the shit hit the fan, He saved from that macho truant officer! He treated my the wounds after I fell from that tree!"

Stan: "Relax dude it's cool we believe you right guys?"

Kyle: "Yeah."

Cartman: "It's cool bro."

Butters: "Yeah we believe you Conner old buddy o'l pal."

{Conner calms down}

Conner: "Sorry It's just It's been a long road since I lost my parents, Benjamin's all I got left."

{Conner wipes a tear from his eye.}

Conner: "They can teach you how to survive just about anything in the Young Marines except with how to cope with losing someone you love."

{The boys are moved by Conner's admission and decide to comfort him}

Stan: "Dude I feel for you."

Kyle: "Yeah I can't imagine what it feels like."

? : "I'll be the first to admit my family is far from perfect but they mean the world to me."

Butters: "Yeah I mean sure my parents ground me a lot and Grandma bullies me and my uncle Bud touched me down here once and."

Cartman: "Okay Butters thats enough."

Butters: "And he called my Butterscotch when he did it and.."

Everyone: "Enough Butters!"

Butters: "Oh Sorry."

Kyle: " Conner I guess what we want to say is when we get out of this and after my Mom finishes freaking out we want to give a second chance to be our friend."

{Kyle puts his hand on Conner's shoulder while he looks up at him and smiles.}

Conner: "Thanks guys you sure know to cheer a devil pup up."

Stan: "No problem dude."

{The 6 boys sit idly by the roaring fire as Cartman sings It's A Long Road. in a flashback montage of Conner and Benjamin doing various things. First Conner and Benjamin eating ice cream then Benjamin showing Conner self defense then how to shoot a rifle then Conner riding on Benjamin's shoulders then Conner and Benjamin feeding a fawn and finally Conner and Benjamin jacking it on a street.}

{As the flashback fades we see the boys minus Conner watching the sunrise.}

Kyle: "Stan?"

Stan: "Yeah?"

Kyle: "Do you really think Benjamin is still alive?"

Stan: "I don't understand?"

Kyle: "I mean do you think he's really been with Conner the whole time or is it just somehow in Conner's imagination?"

Stan: "You think he's just making it up"?

Kyle: "No I don't Stan I think the shock of losing his brother was just too much for him to take so his mind repressed it to the point that he thinks he's still alive".

Cartman: "So what your saying is he's completely mental?"

Kyle: "No Cartman I'm saying he needs help".

Stan: "Well what can do it's not like we can go find proof that Benjamin's dead."

{This gives Kenny an idea. He goes over to Conner's sleeping bag picks up his Colt 45 handgun and loads it.}

Butters: "Uh Kenny what are you going with that gun?"

?: "I'm just gonna borrow it for a bit."

Stan: "Dude I don't think it's a good idea to play with that."

Kyle: "Yeah."

?: "Trust me guys I'll be right back".

{He puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger spraying the outside of the cave with his brains}

Stan : "Oh my God Kenny!"

Kyle: "You Bastard!"

{the area goes silent several moments until we hear the faint sounds of rotors.}

Stan: "Dude do you hear that?"

Kyle:"Hear what?"

{We zoom out to reveal the boys have a much bigger threat to worry about as a squadron of helicopter gunships close in.}

{Cut to Commercial.}

{{Oh Shit This is bad this is very very bad. Will the boy's survive this onslaught of heavy firepower or will the heavy handed knee jerk reaction methods of the ATF be too much for them post a review and find out.}}


	9. Chapter 9

{Return from Commercial Break.}

{We see a squadron of heavily armed helicopter gunships bristling with rocket pods door mounted miniguns and free fall bombs. ATF Commander Gans is in the lead helicopter.}

Commander Gans: "Wolf Pack leader to Wolf Den come in over!"

{Cuts back to the City Hall where General Plymkin, Mayor McDaniels Sergeant Halfcock, SGTs Yates and Murphy and the town council are seated. General Plymkin is on the radio.

Plymkin: "This is Wolf Den go ahead over!"

Gunship pilot: "We're over the Old Stone Mines tunnels no sign of the suspect."

Plymkin: "Continue to sweep the area he's got to be there."

Gans: "Roger over and out."

Halcock: "General Plymkin this is insane for Christ's sake he's just a kid!"

General Plymkin: "Don't act so high and mighty with me Haircot If your boy had just turned himself in like you asked we wouldn't have to do this."

Halfcock: "Yes Sir but I think calling in the air cavalry behind my back to take down a 10 year old boy is overkill."

Plymkin: "I'm not interested in your opinion Sgt I've got a job to do and Goddammit I'm gonna do it."

Halfcock: "You bloated arrogant son of a bitch It's fucking Canada all over again out there."

Plymkin: "You feel free to leave anytime you like Sgt."

{ Sgt Halfcock looks at him with disgust and leaves.}

Halfcock: "NO SIR! You couldn't drag me away!"

Mayor: "General are you sure this absolutely necessary I mean there's an election coming up in a few months and a dead kid won't exactly win voters over."

Halfcock: "Mayor is that all you give a goddamn about?"

Mayor: "Who do you think your talking to?"

Halfcock: "A career politician who's more concerned with her approval ratings then actually doing her job!"

Mayor: "How dare you Sergeant! I'll have you know we have the children of our town to think about!"

Halfcock: "Somehow I find that very hard to believe when you say it's okay to let loose armed gunships on a child!"

{ Ted the Mayor's Aide comes in with The Marsh's the Broflovski's, the McCormicks, the Stotch's and Liane}

Ted: "Mayor some more people want to see you."

Mayor: "Oh God what now?"

Sheila: "Mayor our boys are missing."

{Sharon wipes her eyes}

Randy: "We put them to bed last night and this morning they were gone."

Carol: "We've looked everywhere for them!"

Mayor: "Alright calm down everyone I'm sure we'll find your kids safe and sound."

Gans: "Wolfpack leader to Wolf den. Wolf pack leader to wolf den we've spotted what looks to be four little boys."

Sheila: "Oh my God!"

{Back at the mine entrance The boys notice the helicopters overhead and head back to tell Conner}

Stan: {shakes Conner} "Conner! Conner wake up!"

Conner: {shuffles himself awake.} "Stan whats the alarm?"

Kyle: "Dude there's helicopters out there."

Butters: "Yeah a whole bunch of them!"

{Conner gets up grabs his M16 and heads outside.}

{The gunship pilot spots and points him out to Gans.}

Gunship pilot: "Sir It's Kurtz I see him!"

Gans: {looks out the window to see Conner with the boys.} "That Son of a bitch! Wolfpack leader to Wolf Den! I've spotted the suspect coming out of the mine!"

{In the city hall the parents are terriifed by the revelation.}

Sheila: "Oh My GOD! KYLE!"

Gerald: "Oh my God!"

Sharon: "STANLEY!"

Randy: "Oh Stan why did you try to be a hero?:

Liane: "ERIC!:

Linda: "Oh Butters." {She breaks down onto Stephen.}

Stephen: "Don't worry Linda We'll see him again I promise. We'll have grounded by bedtime."

Gans: "I'd estimate we take out the suspect loose two maybe three of the hostages tops! requesting permission to engage!"

Plymkin: "That's good enough for me Wolf pack leader permission granted."

Sheila: "What What WHAT!"

Gans: {talks to the pilot} "We have permission to engage open fire!"

{The gunships miniguns spin up}

Conner: "GET BACK IN INTO THE TUNNEL RUN!"

{The boys beat a hasty retreat as the gunship opens fire, Conner knowing they're after him flees into the forest to draw their fire away.}

Kyle: "JESUS CHRIST! ARE THEY FUCKING CRAZY!"

Stan: "JUST KEEP RUNNING DUDE!"

Cartman: {struggles to keep up} Pant pant pant you guys wait for meeeeeee!

{The gunship sprays the Conner with gunfire as he runs into the tree line.}

Gunship: "Sir! He's running into the tree line."

Ganz: "Use the 38mm rockets blast him."

{Back at city hall Halfcock decides he's had enough.}

Halfcock: "Call him off Plymkin!"

Plymkin: "Listen to me Howlclock and listen good I'm in charge of this operation and I'll decide whether or not to call him...

{Halfcock punches him square in his fat face before he can finish sending the beefy general crashing to the floor}

{Halfcock gets on the radio and tries to contact the helicopter but Sergeants Yates and Murphy draw their guns on him}

Halfcock: If you have to shoot me then shoot me but I have to call those helicopters off!

Yates: "Goddamn it lower it Murphy theirs no use trying to stop a man on a mission."

{Yates and Murphy lower their weapons as Halfcock contacts Gans.}

Halfcock:"Gans This is Halfcock Abort Mission I repeat Abort Mission!"

Gans: "Sergeant You are not authorized to be on this line."

Halfcock: "Fuck Authorization Gans Abort the mission now."

{Gans Simply smiles and turns off the radio}

Gans: "I hate that station Hey about some tunes boys?"

{Gans sets his Ipod Station to Barbra Streisand!}

Gans: "There's no way anybody can stand this much Streisand and Firepower."

{Halfcock tries to contact Gans but to no Avail!"}

Halfcock:"Gans! Gans! Come In Abort Mission I repeat!"

{The gunships continue their assault on Conner.}

Gans: "He's over there!"

{The door gunner opens fire forcing Conner to run for his life!}

Conner: YAAARRRRGGGHHHH! {He jumps avoiding a rocket strike that decimates a tree landing on his feet}  
ARGH! Damn You Barbra Streisand!" {His Voice echoes through the forest.}

Kyle: "Did You hear someone say Barbra Streisand?"

Butters: {Screams} "Where is She?" {He hides behind some barrels}

{ Meanwhile Conner runs deeper into the thicket of trees desperate to escape the Barbra Streisand music oh and the gunships too.}

Gunship pilot: "I can't see him sir He's vanished into the tree line!"

Ganz: "Drop the bomb!"

Gunship pilot: "What!"

Gans: "I said Drop the bomb!"

Gunship pilot: "Yes sir!"

{The pilot drops an incendiary bomb into the trees, Conner sees it and runs like a boy possessed as the bomb falls reaching a drop in the ground just in time as the bomb explodes igniting the entire forest in a slow motion shot with Barbra Streisand playing in the background.}

{The boys feel the force of the blast shake the mine tunnel from the mine entrance.}

Kyle: Conner!

{The parents can see the massive fireball all the way in city hall.}

Halfcock: "Fucking Barbra Streisand."

{The parents look at Halfcock like WTF?}

Halfcock: "Sorry I really hate her."

{Sheila Looks at him with disgust while Carol Linda and Liane break down in tears as the rest of them watch in awe.}

Halfcock: "We gotta get out there now!"

{We see the action from Conner's first person view. His ears are ringing with Barbra Stresand's voice and his vision is blurry with blood we can hear his heart beating as he rolls over and looks at his bloody burned hands. All around him trees are burning and splintered one falls over and smashes into the ground. just missing Conner slowly pulls himself to his feet and draws his M1911 pistol somehow resisting the urge to blow his own brains out with it.}

{Up in the gunship Commander Gans surveys the scene.}

Gunship pilot: "Sir! No sign of the suspect!"

Gans: "Turn it up and take it around again!"

{The helicopter circles around back scanning for Conner.}

{Back at the mine Stan decides it's now or never and Grabs Conner's second M16 with the M203 Grenade Launcher and runs out into the forest.}

Kyle: Stan! Where are going?

Stan: "I can't just sit here and let them kill Conner."

Kyle: "You want to get yourself killed?"

Stan: "Conner risked his life to save us I've got to go back for him."

Kyle: {Hesitates then says} "Stan wait for me!"

Butters: "Hold it fellas I'm coming too!"

Cartman: "Aw man this is gonna so cool!"

{The boys rush out into the burning forest to find Conner.}

Stan: "Conner!"

Kyle: "Conner!"

Cartman: "Conner!"

Butters: "Conner!"

Kyle: "It's no use there's no way he could have survived that!"

Butters: "Hey fellas look!"

{Conner Stumbles up dazed and injured with other wise still alive.}

Kyle: "Conner!"

{The boys run up to meet Conner is stumbles right into their arms.}

Stan: "We need to get back to the mine tunnel now!"

{The boys load Conner onto Cartman's shoulders and run back for the mine tunnel.}

{The gunship circles around back spotting the boys}

Gunship gunner: Sir I've spotted what looks like the boys.

Gans: "Any sign of Kurtz?"

Gunship gunner: "Negative sir I think we {he spots Conner} Oh my god he's still alive."

{Butters suddenly hears something horrible in the distance.

Butters: "Do you guys hear Barbra Streisand?"

Cartman: " It can't be her we'd see her nose from LA."

{The boys laugh until they do hear Babs and the sounds of rotors.}

Stan: ""Oh Fuck it is her oh and the Helicopters are back!""

Gans: "We got them now open fire!"

Gunship Gunner: "Negative I can't risk hitting one of the boys!"

Gans: "Get out of my way you spineless piece of shit." {Gans pulls the gunner out of his seat and takes aim with the minigun.}

Gans: "Got you now you son of a bitch!"

Conner: "EVERYONE HIT THE DECK!"

{Conner's first person view.}  
{The boys take cover as Gans opens fire splitting a tree trunk in half which crashes toward the boys and causes Conner to black out momentarily. He comes to moments later as we see Kyle drags him to safety behind the downed tree with the other boys, Stan is crouched down while Butters is Curled up in a fetal position and Cartman is hiding under the log. The gunship closes in for the big nosed kill when suddenly out of nowhere Benjamin pushes them down to the ground and opens fire the gunship with an M203.}

Benjamin: "EAT THIS YOU BIG NOSED C&%$!"

{The grenade shell hits the roof of the cabin Killing Gans and the pilots in a fiery explosion the helicopter loses control and spirals toward the ground in a torrent of flames and demonic music.}

Kyle: "JESUS CHRIST IT'S GONNA CRASH!"

Stan: "RUN FOR IT!"

{The boys run for cover as the gunship crashes into the trees and explodes into a huge fireball finally restoring peace to the forest.}

{Sgt Halfcock and the parents are driving over the bridge and see the helicopter explode.}

Randy: "Looks like we're gonna need some more ATF guys."

{The explosion knocks out Conner a second time as the scene goes quiet with the exception of the ringing in Conner's ears. Conner slowly opens his eyes and sees a silhouette of a young man holding an M16 with a smoking M203 and reaching out to him.

Benjamin: "I got you Conner."

Conner: "B-Benjamin?"

Benjamin: "Your safe now!"

Conner: "It was you, You saved us. You saved me!"

{Conner loses consciousness again only to come to seeing Kyle's face.}

Kyle: "Conner Conner! Wake up!"

{Cut to Commercial.}

{{As Always post a comment and stay tuned for the next chapter.}}


	10. Chapter 10

{Return from Commercial Break.}

{Conner slowly drifts in and out of consciousness.}

Kyle: "Conner! Conner! Conner!"

Stan: "He's coming to guys."

{Stan and Kyle's faces slowly form into view.}

Conner: "W-where am I Where's Benjamin?"

Kyle: "Conner thank God your alive!"

Conner: Stan! Kyle! Butters! Cartman! Where am I?

Stan: "Dude you've been unconscious for 6 hours."

{Conner slowly sits up}

Conner: "Where's Benjamin?"

Kyle: "What are you talking about?"

Conner: "He saved us he took out that gunship!"

Kyle: "Conner that was you?"

Conner: "What?"

{Conner slowly gets to to feet.}

Kyle: "You saved us back there"

{Cartman acts out the scene}

Cartman: "Yeah It was totally awesome the helicopter was all like pew pew pew boom! And you were all like EAT THIS! BAGOOM! and then like the helicopter was all like BOOOM! ARGH! BOOSH! "And Kyle was all like {In a light girly voice}  
Help Help me Conner save me! Oh Conner just thinking about you makes my vagina tingle."

{Kyle punches Cartman.}

Cartman: Ow!

Kyle: "Oh Stop it Cartman your just adding stuff on again."

Cartman: "Aw is someone getting a little overemotional Kahl?"

Kyle: "That's not how it happened."

{Conner's mind flashes back to when Benjamin rescued them.}

Benjamin: "EAT THIS"

{He destroys the helicopter}

{The scene then shows Conner pushing himself to the ground and then destroying the helicopter.}

Conner: "EAT THIS!"

{Conner develops a migraine and holds his head as his mind represses the event as Kyle continues to argue with Cartman.}

Kyle: "How can you just sit there and act like a fat douchebag after he saved our lives!"

Cartman: "I'm fat I'm big boned."

Conner: "Make it stop!"

{Parallel events run through Conner's mind strung together by Conner's dialog with Benjamin. first the bus jacking.}

Benjamin: "Good to see you little bro, EVERYBODY OFF GO GO GO! CONNER WE ARE LEAVING!" If we can't go around we'll go through BRACE FOR IMPACT!"

{The flashback then progresses to the the cliff}

Benjamin: CONNER HANG ON I'M COMING!"

{Benjamin's voice slowly changes to Conner's HERE - ' }

Benjamin?: "CONNER GET DOWN!" SHOOT AT 'MY LITTLE BROTHER YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

{Conner's migraine begins to get worse.}

Conner: "BENJAMIN! WHERE ARE YOU?

{The pain builds as Conner braces himself against the wall.}

Butters: "Conner? Are you okay?"

{Butters voice distorts as Conner flashes back to Halfcock's message!}

Conner: "I'm not alone Sir Benjamin's been with me the whole time!"

{ A montages of scenes with Conner and Benjamin flash by in an instant.}

Conner: "HE'S NOT GONE HE'S BEEN WITH ME SINCE SAN DIEGO!"

Halfcock: Conner? Conner? come in?

Conner: I'm glad your still with me?"

Benjamin: "So am I little Bro!"

Conner: "So am I little Bro!"

{Conner falls to his knees as the boys try to help}

Stan: "Easy there Conner just sit down and try to stay calm okay?"

Kyle: "Yeah dude we'll get you help we promise."

{Meanwhile the parents are pulling up to a roadblock where the national guard have set up a checkpoint.}

Soldier: "Hold it!" "Sorry folks this area is restricted to State Police and National Guard personnel only."

Halfcock: "I'm Gunnery Sergeant Halfcock I'm with these people!"

Soldier: "I'm sorry Sergeant but my orders are that no civilians pass."

Sharon: "You don't understand our boys up there on that mountain."

Soldier: "Have you filed a report with the police?"

Gerald: "We filed one at city hall just this morning but they said their hands were full with the manhunt."

Soldier: "Sir I'm gonna have to ask you and your party to turn around."

Gerald: No we will not turn around our son is up there on that mountain getting shot by your trigger happy friends."

Soldier: Sir I'm going to ask you one last time to turn this car around or I'll be forced to place you under arrest!

Liane: {concerned} Excuse me Private my name is Liane Cartman my only son Eric is up alone on that mountain and I'm really worried about him is their anyway we could get past?"

{We cut to Liane being Gang banged by the troops guarding the roadblock as the cars drive thru."}

Soldier: Oh Yeah push it push it baby.

Soldier 2: Your incredible Mrs Cartman.

Soldier 3: Oh Yeah almost there!

Liane: Ooooo Slow down boys I'll get to all of you. {farts on them}

{We hear all kinds of sick depraved sounds such as peeing pooping whipping vomit sniffing and a goat baaing but we don't see anything as the censors thought it was too graphic for deviant art and decided to instead show puppies in adorable hats.}

{As the cars drive off Sergeant Halfcock has a look of shock on his face.}

Halfcock: "Does she always do that?"

{The men inside the car afraid of upsetting their wives just act surprised."}

Randy: "No this is all new to me."

Stephen: "I don't why she'd do such a thing?"

Gerald: "She's seemed like such a loving mother I don't know why she'd prostitute herself?"

{Their wives cross their arms in disgust obviously not falling for their husbands attempt to answer for them.}

Halfcock: "I'll have to get her number next time I see her."

{Back at the mine entrance the boys are attempting to get Conner to say something anything.}

Butters: " Hey Conner are you feeling any better?"

{Conner just looks at him with a thousand yard stare.}

Kyle: "Dude I'm starting to get worried about him."

Stan: "Yeah he hasn't said a word in two hours."

Butters: "You want to sing a song with me?"

Butters: "Loo loo loo I've got some apples loo loo you got some too"

{Conner just turns and glares at him}

Butters: Loo loo...loo {stops singing} I-I guess y-you don't l-like singing huh?"

Cartman: Hey Stan your view of the world looks like shit why don't you go talk to him?

{Stan is very offended}

Stan: "Shut up Cartman!" {takes a swig from a flask."}

Kyle: What are you drinking?

Stan: "It's Apple Juice I swear."

{Stan takes another swig from his flask and smiles.}

{Scene transition to a weaving still of a switzy Stan that says a few sips of "Apple Juice" later...}

{A Drunken Stan waddles up to Conner.}

Stan: "Awight you I've had just abowt enuff of yur sulking awound ."

{Conner looks at Stan like what the fuck?}

Kyle: "Stan you've been drinking Jamison again haven't you?"

Stan: "No I haven't *hic* I just want to see Mr Growchy boots here quack a smile." "Besides It's S'mores Schnapps."

{Conner just looks at Stan}

Stan: "Come on buddy have a drink on me {He spills Schnapps on Conner} "Whoops sowry about that o'l buddy o'l pal {He wraps Conner in a hug and pats his back} You know I didn't mean to do that. you know I love you Conner *hic* " { he smiles a drunken smile before being pulled off by Cartman and Kyle.} 

Cartman: Don't mind him he has Assburgers!

Kyle: "He's gets like this when he drinks."

Stan: "Thanks for saving us back there in Da Nang Sarge! Your still a piece of shit though!"

Butters: "Uh Fellers?" {points out to the entrance "I think they found us."

{The boys head out to find themselves surrounded by National Guard. The Commander calls out to them on a bullhorn}

Commander: "ALRIGHT KURTZ THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED JUST COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

{Kyle looks back toward Conner}

Kyle: "Dude it's over you should just come quietly."

Commander: "I'm gonna give you to the count of Ten to come out}

1

{Conner takes a deep breath and sighs.}

2  
{Day by Day By Jerry Goldsmith plays}

3  
Conner: "I just want it to end."  
4  
{Conner shivers noticing for the first time in hours that he's cold}

5  
Kyle: "I promise when we get back to town I'll tell my Dad what happened He's a lawyer I'm sure He'd be willing to defend you in court"  
6  
{Conner Looks up at Kyle as if to say can I trust you?}

7  
Kyle: Conner I'm giving you my word.

{Conner's eyes try to hold back tears at this sign of loyalty.}  
8  
Conner: "Alright I'll go."  
9  
{Kyle helps Conner to his feet and they head outside to face the surrounding troops}

Commander: "Hold it Danforth calling Halfcock Danforth calling Halfcock I see Kurtz coming out with the other boys now."

{Halfcock is riding with the parents to the site.}

Halfcock: "Roger Wilco don't do anything to alarm him just keep everything calm until I get there"

{ The Boys come out with their hands up}

Soldier: "Looks like we finally got him."

Butters: "W-wait a minute fellas where's Stan?"

{Back inside the cave Stan is drunkenly fiddling with Conner M16.}

Stan: {Loads an 40mm grenade shell} "Ha ha that's cool" {He looks down the barrel of the launcher then picks it up imitating Tony Montana} Say hewlo to my wittle fwiend {laughs} It's funny because he's not wittle at all. Huh? I wonder what this thing does? Conner! Conner?"

{Stan walks out carrying the M16 and looking down the barrel as he does so.}

Stan: Conner? "What happens when I pull this?"

Conner: "STAN NO!"

{Stan accidentally fires the grenade launcher, causing the soldiers to drop to the ground and return fire. The boys desperately flee back into the entrance with Conner returning fire with his Colt M1911}

Conner: {deep breathing} What the fuck is your major malfunction? Are you trying to get us killed?

Stan: "Aw come on dude I was just having a wittle fun!"

Conner: "Your idea of fun is gonna get us killed."

{The National guard fires again spraying the mine entrance with gunfire and forcing the boys to take cover.}

Conner: "GET DOWN!"

{Outside the soldiers stop firing.}

Soldier: "Did we hit him?"

Black Soldier: "I don't know"

Commander: Commander: Alright Parker you take point at the entrance."

Private Parker: "No Way Sir I only do this part time I didn't sign up to get killed."

Commander: "Alright Stone you go in with him."

Private Stone: "Not me sir I gotta be back at the drug store tomorrow."

Commander: God damn it you two are going in there {A shot cuts him off} Cease firing." Alright fire a warning shot with the rocket launcher."

{A Soldier preps and loads an AT4 to fire.}

Soldier: "Sir our orders are to take them alive."

Commander: "Dammit Gary this kid's a killer, he shot down a helicopter for christ's sake." "I'm in charge here and I say we fire!"

{Inside the cave Conner and the boys see the guardsmen preparing to fire a rocket.}

Kyle: RUN!

{The boys run deeper into the mine as the guardsmen fire a rocket collapsing the entrance and trapping them inside the entrance.}

{Cut to commercial break.}


	11. Chapter 11

{Return from Commercial break.}

{We see the wreckage of the collapsed mine entrance surrounded by State Police and National Guardsmen. The parents Mr Mackey and Sergeant Halfcock step out of their cars and walk towards the group of National guardsmen who are sifting through the rubble.}  
{The parents seeing the rubble of the mine fear the worst.}

Sharon: "Oh my God No no no no no" {She runs over to one of the soldiers and grabs him by the collar} "Where is here where is my baby boy?"

Mackey: "What the hell happened? I thought I told you I wanted him and the boys back alive?"

Commander: "He open fired on us I wasn't going to take any chances after that helicopter crash."

Halfcock: "What about the other boys they were in the line of fire too?"

Shelia: "Oh my God Kyle!"

Commander: "He opened fire on us! I had the lives of my men to think about!"

{The news that their boys are dead sinks into the parents Sheila breaks down on her knees while Gerald tries his best to comfort her. Sharon buries her face into Randy's shoulder as he holds her tight. Linda and Stephen fall apart completely.}

Halfcock: "AND WHAT ABOUT THE LIVES OF THE OTHER BOYS? WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT THEM OR WAS YOUR TRIGGER FINGER TOO ICHY YOU COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT!

Commander: "Listen to me Hurtfock I am in charge of this operation!"

Halcock: "Good then you can start cleaning this mess up right away."

{Halfcock and Mackey leaves to talk to the parents who are sitting in a tent mourning the loss of their children.}

Sharon: {crying} "I-I just can't believe he's gone sniff sniff oh Stanley!" {She breaks down into Randy's shoulder}

Sheila: Oh Gerald! Our little bubbula is gone! {She holds her head and cries}

Gerald: "Oh Kyle What were you thinking?"

Linda: "Oh Stephen why? why? why didn't we ground him harder?" {She wipes her eyes with a hankerchief.}

Stephen: {Blubbering} "Oh Butter's Where where did we go wrong?"

{The instrumental Day by day plays as we slowly zoom of the forest to a satellite feed that reads Pvt Conner Kurtz status KIA.

{The Show's credits roll }

South Park Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Written by Ask Conner Kurtz

Concept for Story by Rock Head 1989 and Ask Conner Kurtz.

Conner Kurtz Created by Rock Head 1989

Tune in next week for my new Terrence and Phillip Fan Fiction Call of Doody Turd Warfare HEY!

{ Suddenly a KaBar knife cuts through the credits and Conner slices his way out.}

Conner: {To the Writer and reader} "What kind of Chicken Shit ending is that? I'm not dead and this story is nowhere near over."

{Conner literally cuts back to the cave in where the boys are stranded in the dark.}

Kyle: Is everyone alright?

{Conner strikes a match illuminating the tunnel.}

Conner: "That any better?"

Kyle: "Yeah lots where is everyone?"

Cartman: {falls to his knees and dry heaves} You guys I don't feel so good! {He lets out a wet fart igniting Conner's match and blowing it out.}

Conner: {Stands upwind from Cartman and strikes another match} "Good thing I brought a whole box of these."

Butters: {falls over and starts gagging}

Conner: "Where's Stan?

Kyle: "Jesus Christ Stan!"

Stan: "My Bonnie Lies over the *hic* Ocean My lies over the..{Turns green and swallows his vomit.}

Kyle: "Stan!" {Runs up to him and hugs him} "What the hell were you thinking?" { He slaps Stan's hand causing him to drop his flask.}

{Stan is distraught that he dropped his flask of S'mores Schnapps and spilled it.}

Stan: "Oh No! just hold still I'm gowna stop the bweeding."

{He starts slurping the leaking schnapps from the flask when Kyle slaps it out of his hand again}

Stan: "Kwle Why do you gotta be like that man?"

Kyle: "You almost got us killed back there!"

Stan: "Kwle You know that I luve you like a bwother man." {He turns green and barfs on Kyle}

Kyle: "Gross!"

{Meanwhile in her room Wendy and Bebe are painting each others nails when Wendy feels a sudden shiver run down her spine}

Bebe: "What's wrong Wendy?"

Wendy: "I don't know Bebe I just felt a strange disturbance all of a sudden."

{Back in the cave the boys are still there Conner is gathering supplies up. He takes his grabs a old pickaxe and smashes it against the wall until the rusty head comes off then he wraps the cloth he doused in lantern oil and wraps it around the handle.}

Butters: {walks over to see what he's doing} "What are you doing Conner?"

Conner: "Getting us out of here." {He takes his match and lights the rags creating a makeshift torch.} "All Right Rally Up Everyone we're getting out of here."

Butters: "Shouldn't we wait for rescue?"

Conner: "No."

Butters: "B-but {Conner cuts him off with a death stare}

Conner: "I said we are getting out of here Kyle Carry Stan Butters Help Cartman. MOVE!

{The boys gather up and follow Conner into the tunnels}

{Elsewhere outside the collapsed mine the salvage operation continues the parents watch the news on tv.}

Tv: "And despite the efforts of rescue workers it seems the chance of finding any of the boys alive is slim.

{Sgt Halfcock walks into the tent.}

Halfcock: {Sigh} "They said it doesn't look good. apparently there was a whole bunch of TNT in that mine."

{Sharon buries her face in her laps and sobs.}

Halfcock: "I'm deeply sorry for your losses"

{Sheila suddenly stands up and shouts in his face}

Sheila: It's all your fault! You turned him into a psychopath you taught him how to kill If it wasn't for you my Bubbula would still be alive !{Her eyes are burning with rage.}

Halfcock: "I thought you looked familiar to to me."

Gerald: "Here it comes."

Halfcock: "Your were the leader of Mothers Against Canada weren't you? You started that whole Goddamn Cockamamie War."

Sheila: "Don't you act self righteous in front of me Sergeant! You have no idea what I'm capable of!"

Halfcock: "I got a feeling I'm about to find out."

Gerald: "Sheila please calm down honey!"

Sheila: "Don't you tell me to calm down Gerald!"

Gerald: {sigh} " Looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way"

{Gerald injects Sheila with an anesthetic causing her to pass out.}

Gerald: "Sorry She's stricken with Grief." {He drags her back to a chair.}

Halfcock: "I understand."

Gerald: "Sergeant I just want you to know that I don't blame you for everything that's happened."

Halfcock: "I understand Mr Broflovski."

Gerald: "I actually feel kinda bad for Conner I mean losing his family and then running away for almost a year I'm not surprised the stress caught up to him."

Halfcock: "Well I don't blame your wife for hating me to be be honest I kinda hate myself right now."

Randy: "What do you mean?"

Halfcock: "It's just I feel like he needed my help and I failed him."

Mackey: "He needed your help? You've been up my ass about helping Kurtz out ever since you got here Headstop! He brought a loaded weapon into a school hijacked a school bus injured 5 truant officers and put one in a testicular vegetative state."

{Halfcock chuckles.}

Mackey: "IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY M'KAY! HE KIDNAPPED FIVE STUDENTS KILLED ONE AND DESTROYED AN ATF HELICOPTER AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO WALTZ IN HERE AND TELL WE SHOULD LET SCHOOL SHOOTER SAM HERE GO TO SAVE OUR LIVES WELL WE SAVED OUR LIVES SERGEANT AND WE DID IT WITHOUT LETTING HIM GO!"

Randy: "Mr Mackey I think you need to calm down."

Mackey: "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP M'KAY!"

{Mackey attacks Randy and soon the fight escalates to include Gerald and Halfcock.}

{Meanwhile back in the cave Conner continues to lead the boys through the cave.}

Conner: "Stick close I don't want anybody falling behind."

{Stan is starting to sober up}

Stan: "Ugh not so loud *hic* my head is killing me!"

Kyle: "If you didn't drink so much you wouldn't get a hangover."

Cartman: "Yeah you rack a disaprine Stan!"

{Conner suddenly hears something dropping from above}

Conner: "Hold it I think I heard something"

{He draws his gun and scans the room looking for signs of movement.}

Butters: "I didn't hear nothing Conner."

{Suddenly something drops from above Conner aims his gun and holds his torch out to reveal Benjamin who's dropped in from above.}

Conner: "Benjamin! You nearly took a bullet!"

Benjamin: "Conner I thought that rocket blew you to kingdom come!"

Conner: "They gave it their best shot."

Benjamin: "I found a way out it's just up ahead follow me and stay tight."

Conner: "Oorah."

{The boys look at Conner like he's crazy or something?}

Conner: "Benjamin says there's another way out thru these tunnels stick close and don't fall behind."

{Conner heads down the passage while the boys hang back to discuss what's happening.}

Kyle: {whispers} "Hey guys have you noticed Conner's acting a little strange?"

Stan: "Ugh I told you not so loud."

Kyle: "I'm just saying he's talking to himself a lot. It's almost as if someone else is there."

Stan: "Ugh Benjamin?"

Kyle: "Yeah haven't you noticed we haven't seen him around here anywhere?"

Stan: "I guess"

Conner: {Hollers back} "Stan Kyle! pick it up!"

Kyle: "Be right there Conner Stan's still a little hungover." "Remember Stan keep an eye on him."

{The boys come to a step ladder leading down to a flooded shaft.}

Conner: "Wait here We'll go on up ahead and see if it's stable."

{Conner slowly steps down to the shaft the ladder creaking with every step, Just when it seems he's almost done the last step breaks sending Conner tumbling down into the flooded shaft.}

Butters: "Conner!"

{Conner like the trooper he is picks himself up and dusts himself off.}

Conner: {winces} "I'm okay just a couple of bruises."

Benjamin: "I can feel the wind blowing the exit must be near."

Kyle: "What did you say?"

Conner: "I said the exit must be near."

Butters: "I don't know Conner are you sure it's safe?"

Conner: "Hold on."

{Conner looks around and finds a box in the corner he tries pushing it but finds it's too heavy suddenly Benjamin helps him push it under the step ladder."

Conner: "Thanks Ben."

Benjamin: "What are big brothers for."

Kyle: "Conner is everything okay?"

Conner: "Yeah we're good."

{The boys come down one by one with the exception of Stan who Kyle and Conner have to help down on account of his hangover.}

Kyle: "It's okay Stan I got you just hold my hand and take it nice and slow!

Stan: {rubs his head.} "Nice and slow okay I can do this {The stepladder distorts due to Stan's hangover looking much deeper than it actually is causing his foot to slip} K-Kyle!"

Kyle: "Hold on Stan! {Kyle grabs his hand tight} I got you just climb back on!"

Stan: {Looks up and sees the ladder twisting and turning he looses his grip and falls down bumping his head in the process.}

Kyle: "Stan!"

{Kyle races down to help while Conner and Butters help him up out of the water}

Conner: "Hold on Stan we got you! {Conner and Butters help him up and set him against the wall.}

Kyle: "Stan!"

{Stan has a cut on his head from when he slipped and fell and his ankle is twisted.}

{Conner takes his hat off and opens up his bag for supplies taking out a canteen some bandages a cotton pad and some Neosporin}

Conner: Kyle hold this for me {He gives the torch to Kyle} It's not too bad but It could get infected!"

{Conner applies the cotton pad to Stan's head then holds it in place with some bandage wrap}

Conner: "This ought to hold for now Stan"

Benjamin: "We better get him out of here now."

Conner: "Which way was the exit?"

Benjamin: "This way follow me."

{Conner helps Stan up and supports him with his shoulder}

Conner: "Alright lead the way."

Stan: "C-Conner who's there?"

Conner: "Benjamin."

{Stan's vision blurs from the impact.}

Stan: "He's really here?"

Conner: "Yeah He's come to rescue us."

{Benjamin shows Conner an opening in a collapsed passage}

Benjamin: "It's just through here watch out it's pretty tight."

{He goes through the passage}

Conner: "I'll go first Stan then help you through."

{Conner crawls into the tight passage Stan is about to follow when Kyle stops him.}

Kyle: "Stan have you noticed Conner been acting strange lately?"

Stan: {Rubs his head} "My head's hurting too much to think."

Kyle: "He's talking to himself almost as if he expects someone to answer."

Butters: "You mean like Dr Janus?"

{Kyle suddenly has a revelation.}

Kyle: "What did you say Butters?"

{Meanwhile Conner crawls through the passage dragging his field pack behind him.}

Conner: "Now I know what a canned ration feels like."

Benjamin: "Tell me about it."

Conner: "I just wanted something to eat that's not too much to ask but no I gotta dodge bullets and helicopters and crawl through tunnels like a fucking rat!"

"I admit it I screwed up big time bringing an M16 into a school, I wasn't fucking thinking straight. But that piece of shit Counselor just had to keep pushing it! they all had to keep pushing it!"

"They Drew First Blood Not Us."

Benjamin: "You alright back there?"

Conner: Well I'm up to my elbows in dirt squeezing my ass through tight crevices like a sardine in a fucking tin can not to mention lugging 20lbs of equipment." "Other than that I've never felt better."

{The two brothers come out of the tight passage and discover a shaft with a ladder leading to the surface}

{Conner and Benjamin share a laugh of elation}

Conner: "Son of a bitch!"

Benjamin: " What did I tell you huh?" Your O'l Brother hasn't met the asshole he couldn't crawl his way out of!"

{Conner runs back to passage and hollers out to the guys.}

Conner: "Hey Guys it's here!" {He laughs}

{Back in the cave the boys are discussing Conner's state of mind!}

Butters: "Are you sure about this Kyle?"

Kyle: "I'm certain of it whoever Conner's been talking to all this time It's not Benjamin!"

{Who is Conner talking to? Is it Buddha? Elvis? Brian Boitano! tune in next chapter to find out.}

{Cuts To Commercial Break.}

{{{As Always Leave a comment and I'll see you next chapter.}}}


	12. Chapter 12

{Return from Commercial Break}

Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails.

{We can see Randy, Gerald, Jimbo, Ned and Mr Mackey sitting at the bar. Sergeant Halfcock walks to them.}

Halfcock: "Gentlemen."

Gerald: "Have a seat Sergeant."

{Halfcock sits at the bar.}

Bartender: "What can I get you Sarge?"

Halfcock: "Just a beer is fine thanks."

Jimbo: Sergeant Hoppop?

Halfcock: It's Halfcock.

Jimbo: "Sorry I just want to say I heard about what to Conner at school and that we're sorry I was a Young Marine myself before I got drafted in Vietnam."

Halfcock: "We're you Stationed in Da Nang?"

Ned: mmm "Yep"

Halfcock: "You guys had the log ride right?"

Jimbo: "Yeah we sure did a lot of good times on that log ride."

Halfcock: "I hear you We had ourselves a kick ass roller coaster in Hue City until the Tet offensive, Goddamn NVA got in line before us my unit spent 2 months waiting in that line to ride it. Krackhauer I think took it the hardest by the time we got there he just wasn't the same."

Jimbo: "That war was hell on all of us."

Randy: "I don't meant to interrupt but there's Something Mr Mackey wants to get off his chest."

Mackey: {sighs} "I just wanted" {deep breath} "I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I got out of line earlier M'kay."

Halfcock: "That doesn't make much difference now."

Mackey: "No I guess not I suppose I just feel like... um well"

Halfcock: "Like you were cheated out of your chance."

Mackey: "I wanted to kill that kid I wanted to kill him so bad I could taste it M'kay."

Halfcock: "Doesn't sit to well with your position as School counselor." It can get confusing sometimes, I'm sure on the road during his travels Conner got pretty confused." "Aw what the hell your a civilian you can go back to work tomorrow help kids out, tend to your little flower garden or whatever you have?"

Mackey: "And what have you figured out Sergeant? What would you have done if he turned himself in M'kay would you have given him a big sloppy kiss and took him out for ice cream? Or would you have spanked his ass to a bloody pulp? M'kay."

{Sergeant Halfcock ponders this question for a few seconds}

Mackey: "Well?"

Halfcock: "I couldn't answer that until I met him face to face."

Mackey: "M'kay well there it is, It's just as well we never got the chance to find out."

{Suddenly Skeeter butts in}

Skeeter: "Hey Sergeant we don't take kindly to your kind around here."

Bartender: "Now Skeeter he ain't hurting no one."

Skeeter: "No I want to know something from Mr Drill Instructor here If you do the same job as Army Drill Sergeants how come you got different names for the same job?"

{Halfcock looks him in the eye and says}

Halfcock: "Because Army guys Aren't Ready For Marines Yet."

Randy: "Oh I get it Army heh heh."

{Meanwhile back at the mine the boys minus Cartman are pulling something really heavy up the shaft with a rope.}

Conner: {Straining} "Come On Almost There"

Stan: {straining} "I can't hold on dude!"

Kyle: {Straining} "Oh My God It's Too Heavy!"

Butters: {Straining} "My Arms Are Gonna Fall Off Fellas!"

Kyle: {Straining} "Cartman Are You Gonna Help At All?"

Cartman: "No I'm Cool."

Conner: {Straining} "Why the hell did you have to go and break the ladder Jumbo Jowls?"

Cartman: "I'm not fat I'm big boned!"

Conner: {straining} "Bullshit! You look like you could suck a cupcake through a keyhole!"

{The boys all laugh despite the heavy load they're lifting.}

Cartman: "Shut up It wasn't my fault the stupid ladder broke."

Conner: {Straining} "Your right Cartman It said very clearly one at a time {They hoist Cartman out of the shaft.}

Cartman: {Takes several deep breaths}

Conner: "Now If it's not too tough for your girlish figure we still got a long walk back to town." {Takes out his compass and a road map and sets it on an old box.} Alright according to the compass we're northwest of town the roads are probably packed with Guardsman! but If we follow the sound of the river and stay under the tree cover we should make it back okay."  
"Any questions?"

{Butters Raises his hand}

Conner: "Butters?"

Butters: "Conner were you like planning to shoot up the school and kill everyone like my parents said?"

{Conner looks at him hurt.}

Conner: "No of course not!"

Stan: "Then why did you bring a gun into the school?"

Conner: "Because I forgot it was in my bag."

Stan: "How do you forget you have a gun in your bag?"

Conner: "Well when you walk across three state lines with a gun in your bag you kind of get used to it."

Kyle: "You should have expected something to happen."

Conner: "I know alright! It was stupid I wasn't thinking clearly I thought maybe I might actually find some friends here or at least something to eat."  
That's not too much to fucking ask for!"  
"And then that asshole counselor and those truant officers had to get involved. I would have gone quietly but they just kept pushing me {Conner's tone begins to turn colder and his eyes narrow with thoughts of vengeance."

Kyle: "Conner?"

Conner: "What?"

Kyle: "What happened to you in the Pandemic?"

{Kyle's words echo through Conner's head as we once again see the flashbacks from earlier.}

Dwight: " JUST GO GET OUT OF HERE!

Benjamin: "CONNER DON'T LOOK BACK!

Sarah: "IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY CONNER MOMMY'S HERE."

{LOTS OF GUNFIRE AND GUINEA PIG SQUEAKING}

Kyle: "Conner? Conner?"

{Conner looks over them and then over to Benjamin who's now standing with them.}

Benjamin: "Let's go Conner"

Conner: "Alright Ben."

Cartman: "Oh Boy!"

Conner: "Let's go"

Kyle: "Conner You didn't answer my question."

Conner: "I said lets go!"

Kyle: "No Not until you answer me what happened to you?"

Conner: "SHUT UP!"

{Conner fires a burst from his M16 into the air and looks at them with a thousand yard stare. The boys look back in horror.}

Cartman: "Okay dude your cool you don't feel like talking about it thats cool dawg."

Butters: "Y-yeah Your cool d-dawg."

Conner: "Let's go."

{The boys look silently at Conner.}

Conner: "MOVE!"

{The boys hesitantly Follow Conner.}

Convoy

{We see a Convoy of Army trucks passing by. Conner leads the boys down a hill to the ridge over the convoy.}

Conner: "Everybody stop and drop."

Stan: "What?"

Conner: "Get down."

{The boys get down as the convoy passes}

Conner: "On my mark, wait for it.

Stan: "Wait for what dude?"

{The last truck passes by.}

Conner: "This!"

{Conner jumps on top of the truck ,swings into the cab and knocks the driver out.}

Kyle: "Holy Shit Dude!

Cartman: "Aw Sweet!"

Conner: "Get in!"

Stan: "Conner are you sure we should be doing this "

Conner: "Get in or I'm leaving you behind!"

{The boys shrug and and climb into the truck.}

Conner: "Everyone aboard?"

Kyle: "I think so"

Conner: "Good Stan you work the pedals" , "Kyle your riding shotgun", "Cartman Butters you two get in the back see what we got back there!" Let's move.}

{The boys sit down as Conner starts up the truck.}

Conner: {Shifts into drive} alright Stan give me some gas!

{Stan Presses the gas pedal down and the truck drives off with the rest of the convoy.}

Conner: "Butters! what have we got back there?"

Butters: "Um t-t-there's a l-l-l-lot of b-b-big scary g-g-g-guns and s-stuff!"

Conner: "Butters Stop Grab Assing! what do got back there!"

Butters: "Um uh uh"

Conner: "Kyle take the wheel I'll be right back."

{Conner steps out of the cab and climbs along the side into the back leaving the truck to swerve.}

Kyle: What! Conner? AHHH

{Kyle quickly takes the wheel and and swerves back on to the road}

Stan: "Jesus Christ!"

{Kyle looks back at Conner}

Kyle: "Conner What the hell are you thinking?"

Conner: "Don't look at me look at the road that's how accidents happen"

{Conner roots through the boxes in the back finding an SAW M249 LMG a AT4 Rocket Launcher and rockets an ammo belt bandolier several hand grenades and several mortar shells}

Cartman: Whoa Awesome!

{The driver of the truck runs up to a passing police car}

Driver: "Hey Stop."

{We then cut to the PArk county police station where Murphy is pouring a cup of coffee when the report comes over the radio.}

Radio: Attention All Cars Attention All Cars

Murphy: "Turn that up."

Radio: Looks like someone pulled the plug too soon That Kurtz kid, He's on the loose again!

Murphy: "Jesus Christ."

{He runs into Yates's office.}

Radio: "We're setting up roadblocks on Highway 26"

Murphy: "Sir It's Kurtz!"

{Murphy stands up as we cut back to the boys who notice they have a patrol car on their tail}

Cartman: "It's the cops."

Conner: "Shit! Kyle Floor it."

Kyle: "What?"

Conner: " Floor it! "

{The patrol car pulls alongside the truck and aims his gun out the window.}

Conner: "Ram them!"

Kyle: "Are you out of your mind?"

Conner: "Ram them now!"

{Kyle Reluctantly turns the wheel slamming into the side of the cruiser sending it fishtailing}

Conner: "Again!"

Kyle: "Conner please stop your acting crazy."

Conner: " I SAID HIT THEM AGAIN!"

{Kyle turns the wheel again sending the police car crashing into another police car up ahead in a fiery explosion.}

{ The truck drives on toward the bridge into town}

Cartman: "Aw man that was fucking kickass!"

Conner: "OORAH!"

Kyle: "What the hell was that for?"

Conner: "Just focus on the road."

Kyle: "No I won't focus on the road until you tell me why the hell you had me ram a police car?"

Butters: "Uh Fellas?"

Conner: "They drew first blood not us."

Kyle: "Is that what this is about?"

Butters: "Fellas?"

Conner: It's about more than that!"

Kyle: "Like what"

Butters:"Fellas!"

All of them: WHAT!

Butters: Roadblock!

{Up ahead the police have blocked off the bridge}

Conner: "Stan Floor it!"

Stan: "NO!"

{Conner losing patience draws his pistol and points it at Kyle's head."

Conner: "I said floor it!

Kyle: "AHH! Do it Stan!"

{Stan reluctantly floors it sending the truck barreling into the roadblock.}

Officer: Oh God he's not stopping!

Female Officer: RUN!

{The officers scatter as the truck drives over one of the cars and into town as the sunsets}

South Park nightfall

{The truck pulls up to a parking lot outside the mall and stops}

Conner: "Alright this is where you guys get off."

{Conner puts on the bandolier and picks up the M249 and AT4}

Kyle: "What the hell are you doing?"

Conner: "Benjamin and I have to go it alone from here."

Stan: "Conner Benjamin is dead do you hear me he's dead whether you like it or not!"

{Conner looks at Stan with a thousand yard stare then suddenly cold cocks him with the stock of his M249}

Kyle: "CONNER STOP!"

{Conner knocks out Kyle then Butters and Cartman.}

Conner: "Sorry guys but this is something we have to do without you, For it's worth I wish things had turned out differently You guys were the first friends I had in a long time."

{The sound of Sirens pierces the night air as Benjamin steps out from the back of the truck ready for battle.}

Benjamin: "You Ready to finish this?"

Conner: "Ready when you are"

{Conner loads the M249 and walks up to Benjamin}

Conner: "We didn't start this war."

Benjamin: "But we're definitely gonna end it."

{{{Holy Cows things look like their about to get explosive for South Park Next chapter it hits the fan big time until then leave a comment and review.}}


	13. Chapter 13

{Return from Commercial break.}

{We see Conner drive the truck into the pumps of a gas station, He gets out with Benjamin and the two brothers grab what they can take from the truck. Conner puts on the bandolier and picks up the rocket launcher, then throws a lighter on the spilling gasoline and runs. The resulting fire ignites the fuel in the tanks creating a massive fireball.}

{Over At the police station Yates, Murphy and the other cops see the gigantic fireball.}

Yates: "OH MY GAWD!" Get everyone out there right away."

{Murphy and the other officers get ready and head out while Conner and Benjamin wait in the shadows for the cruisers to pass by before legging it down the street}

{The Patrol cars pull up to the fire which is now spread to the used car lot next to the station setting numerous cars ablaze."

Cop: "Holy Shit" Everybody get back!"

{The cops retreat as parked cars erupt in into flames.}

{Meanwhile back at station Sergeant Yates gets on the station intercom.}

Yates: "Attention All South Park Residents this is a police emergency for your own safety please evacuate the streets immediately remain indoors until you receive further instructions I repeat this is a police emergency please evacuate the streets immediately"

{An officer walks into his office}

Officer: "What now sir?"

Yates: {sighs and holds his heads} "I don't know Hoskins I just don't know. It's like a blizzard there's not much we can do except get people indoors and hope it blows over."

{Meanwhile at City Hall Mayor McDaniels sees the explosion from her office}

McDaniels: "I picked a bad day to quit."

{She pulls out a pixie stick pours it on her desk and proceeds to lick it up. Her aide Johnson comes in Mayor}

Johnson: "Mayo Kurtz is...

Mayor: "I know don't disturb me."

Johnson: Okay then."

{ At Skeeter's Bar and Grill the explosion and the sound of Sirens draws out the patrons}

Randy: "What's going on?"

{Mr Mackey looks at the explosion and and clenches his fist. }

Halfcock: {Looks at Mackey} "Kid sure is resilient c'mon we better get out of here."

Mackey: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR ADVICE HALFCOCK! YOU KNEW HE WAS STILL ALIVE DIDN'T YOU!"

Halfcock: "I had my suspicions."

Mackey: "YEAH SURE THATS WHY YOU STUCK AROUND DIDN'T YOU TO LAUGH IN MY FACE M'KAY! YOU TRAINED HIM YOU TAUGHT HIM TO GET OUT OF PLACES LIKE THAT CAVE BUT HE IS NOT GETTING AWAY FROM ME THIS TIME M'KAY!

{Mr Mackey storms out to his car.}

Halfcock: "Mackey you Your Truant officers the police the ATF the national guard couldn't handle him then what makes you think you can handle him now because you and I both know what kind of damage he's prepared to do."

{Outside Conner and Benjamin duck into alley behind a building.}

Halfcock: "You haven't got a chance Mackey your just gonna get yourself killed."

Mackey: "JUST SHUT UP HALCOCK JUST THE FUCK UP!"

Halfcock: "There's only one man in this town who's got a chance and that's not because I'm better than him it's because he trusts me. I'm closest thing he's got to family left and that's all I've got."

Gerald: "Mr Mackey I think you should really listen to Sgt Headblock"

Halfcock: "Goddammit what is with everyone getting my name wrong it's like a running gag with you people or something. It's Halfcock Half-Cock!"

Randy: "Oh" {laughs} "Halfcock that's funny" {laughs harder until he notices everyone staring at him and awkwardly stops} "What were we talking about?"

Stuart: "Conner?"

Gerald: "Right Conner"

Mackey: "M'kay thanks" {Turns to Halfcock}" NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME SERGEANT THIS IS MY TOWN MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL M'KAY AND I'M NOT GIVING IT UP TO YOU OR TO KURTZ OR ANYONE ELSE NOW YOU JUST STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY OR WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" {He gets in his car and drives away.}

{Meanwhile back at the parking lot Kyle Regains consciousness}

Kyle: "Ugh" {He holds his head} "Where am I? STAN!"

{Kyle runs over to Stan}

Kyle: "Stan wake up."

Stan: {Mumbles} "No Mom I don't want pistachio's"

Kyle: "Stan get up"

Stan: {opens his eyes slowly to see Kyle staring up at him} "Kyle what happened?"

Kyle: " I don't know we need to find Cartman, Butters and CONNER!

{Butters suddenly stirs}

Butters: "Owie my head hurts"

Kyle: "Butters!"

Butters: "Ow hey where are we? what are doing out here?"

Stan: "Wait I remember now that Asswipe knocked me out!"

Kyle:" Where's Cartman?"

{The boys spot Cartman lying unconscious with a nasty bump on his head.}

Stan: "Whoa dude that looks like it hurt."

Kyle:" Yeah Wake up Fatass."

{Kyle punches him in the head causing Cartman to wake up"}

Stan: "Are you okay."

Cartman: "Bow Lang chu."

Kyle: " Oh Boy"

Cartman: "Shun chow bong shu."

{The Boys notice the explosion from the Gas Station}

Stan: "Holy Shit Dude."

Kyle: "Was that Conner?"

Butters: You Guy's Cartman...

Stan: "Yeah we know Butters He thinks he's a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Lee."

Butters: "Oh Aright then."

{Suddenly Kenny walks up out of nowhere}

Kenny: ("Hey Guys")

Kyle: "Oh hey Kenny."

Stan: "Dude where have you been? You just ran away back at the cave."

Kenny: (You mean you don't remember?)

Stan: "Remember what?"

{Kenny face palms}

Kenny: ( "Just Forget it. Where's Conner?)

{The boys point to the massive fireball down the street.}

Kenny: ("Oh Looks like we got here just in time.)

Kyle: "We? Who's with you?"

Kenny: ("Okay you can come out now."

{Kenny gestures to a figure in bright light.}

Stan: "Whoa!"

Kyle: "It's really him."

Butters: "Hey Guys Cartman says he wants Fi Dorra and also that he wants to love me long time."

Stan: "What ever Butters just give it to him."

Kyle: "Come on Stan we have to find Conner fast."

{The boys run off with the figure in bright light as Kenny opens his parka while running in slow motion revealing a bright green M underneath.}

{Speaking of Conner we now cut to a dark street corner where Conner and Benjamin are taking cover behind a building wall.}

Conner: "What now?"

{Benjamin looks around}

Benjamin: "No sign of any cops looks like forward area's clear move it."

{The two of them run down the street as suspenseful music plays.}

{Meanwhile back at the fire Mr Mackey pulls up to see what's happened}

Mackey: "Where is he? Where is that little shit."

Officer: "Mr Mackey I'm gonna have ask you to stand back."

Mackey: {Grabs the officers collar} "Where is Kurtz?"

Officer: "I don't know when we got here the fire was already out of control."

Mackey:"God Damn it!"

{He gets in his car and drives off to the school}

{Meanwhile Conner and Benjamin take cover behind a dumpster.}

Conner: "Damn it we're too exposed what do we do?"

Benjamin: {Looks around.} "There the power transformer."

Conner: "Gotcha."

{Benjamin shoots out the transformer blacking out the entire street}

Benjamin: MOVE!

{The two brothers run down the dark street to the next corner. Benjamin points out the next transformer.}

Conner: "This one's mine."

{Conner shoots out the transformer blacking out the street.}

{Elsewhere The boys see the power go out.}

Stan: "Jesus Christ What's happening?

Kyle: "Guy's look."

{Kyle points to the destroyed Transformer.}

Butters: "We gotta find Conner fast."

Cartman: "Bang Chu wang Schlong!"

{Elsewhere Mr Mackey sees the blackout and realizes Conner is near. He gets out grabs his rifle and runs into the school.}

{Elsewhere Sergeant Yates notices the blackout}

Yates: "Son of a bitch" {He tries to get on the radio but the powers dead} "Murphy find the backup generators and get them on."

Murphy:"Yes Sir."

{Meanwhile Conner and Benjamin destroy two more transformers}

Benjamin: "I think that ought to do it."

{They hear the sounds of approaching sirens}

Conner: "didn't take it long to find us."

{Benjamin looks around and notices Jimbo's gun shop}

Benjamin: "Follow me."

{They head for Jimbo's Guns while Mr Mackey heads for the truant officers office and grabs an M16}

{Benjamin shoots the locks off the the door and the two move inside. Benjamin grabs several tins of gun powder and starts spreading it around the shop while Conner grabs boxes off ammo off the shelf and starts dumping it on the gunpowder.}

Benjamin: "Get back!"

{Benjamin begins dumping kerosene on the gun powder}

{Meanwhile Mr Mackey uses his keys to to access the school roof.}

Mackey: "Lets see here" {fumbles through the keys as the suspenseful music stops} "M'kay it's not that one no no no no no no no no no no ah here we go."

{Principal Victoria and Dr Adams walk up to him.}

Principal Victoria: "Mr Mackey what are you doing with that gun?"

Mackey: "Oh hi Principal Victoria I was just heading to the roof to uh M'kay how do I explain this?"

Principal Victoria: "Your after Kurtz aren't you?"

Mackey: "Yeah Pretty much."

Principal Victoria: "Are you out of your fucking mind He's just a kid!"

Mackey: "He's not just a kid M'kay He's on the loose and there and I'm not gonna let him get away after what he's done."

Mr Adams: "Mr Mackey I think you need to leave this to the proper authorities unlike Joe Paterno.."

Mackey: "Shut up Adams! Just shut the fuck up! You not funny your jokes aren't funny and your shtick isn't fucking funny M'kay! Now just stay the fuck outta my way!"

{Dr Adams just breaks down sobbing as Principal Victoria comforts him. Mr Mackey ignores him and runs up to the roof.}

{He opens the door and rushes up to the rooftop as the suspenseful music starts up again. He surveys the area through the scope as he looks for Conner."

Mackey: "Alright where are you, you son of a bitch!"

{Meantime Benjamin finishes dousing Jimbo's Store with Kerosene He takes out a match and lights it.}

Benjamin: "Let's go."

{The two brothers dash out of the shop as the flames ignite the gunpowder causing the rounds Conner spilled to cook off giving the illusion of gunshots.}

{Mr Mackey hears the commotion in the distance and aims for him}

Mackey: "Got you now you little bastard."

{He fires a shot at the gun store hitting a window and alerting Conner and Benjamin to his presence.}

Benjamin: "SNIPER GET DOWN!"

{He pushes Conner to the street.}

Benjamin : "We need to get inside fast."

Conner: {notices the alleyway} "Down this way down the alley!"

{The two brothers run down the alley and take cover behind a dumpster.}

Conner: "did he see us?"

Benjamin: "I don't think so I think he was aiming at the store."

Conner: "It came from Northwest from the school."

Benjamin: "How can you tell?"

Conner: "You taught me."

Benjamin: {smiles} That's my little brother. Let's get this bastard."

{They run from the alley down the street to the school. Conner takes a look through the binoculars.}

Conner: "Well what do you know It's that kingshit counselor He save d us the trouble of tracking him down."

"Damn it the power still on at the school."

Benjamin: "Must have a backup generator we'll have to take it out."

Conner: "Yeah" {He spots it through the binoculars} there it is how do we get to it?"

Benjamin: "You still got the rocket launcher?"

Conner: "Hell Yeah"

Benjamin: " Aim for that bus over there."

Conner: "I see." {He takes aim and fires hitting the school bus parked outside and distracting Mackey.}

{ Mr Mackey takes cover from the explosion, meanwhile inside the school Principal Victoria and Dr Adams take cover inside her office. Outside Conner drops the disposable rocket launcher and the two brothers dash past the burning bus and towards the school.}

{Meanwhile the boys see the explosion at the school}

Stan: { In Disbelief} "OH MY GOD!"

Kyle: "I-I think we found Conner guys."

{A line of police cars drive past them followed soon by their parents who stop and get out of their cars.}

Randy: "Stan?"

Stan: "Dad!"

Sharon: "My Baby"

Stan: Mom"

{They embrace}

Randy: "Oh Stan your alive."

Sharon: "Oh my poor baby Mommy was so worried."

Gerald: "Oh Kyle I thought I'd never see you again

{He tears up as he holds his son tight.}

Sheila: {Mumbles incoherently from the tranquilizer Gerald gave her earlier.}

Kyle: "Mom are you okay?"

Gerald: "Your Mother's fine Kyle I just to kinda tranquilizer her a little bit."

Kyle: "What!"

{Sheila passes out in the passenger seat.}

Ike: "Kyle!"

{Ike hops up and hugs Kyle.}

{Liane walks up to Cartman and hugs him}

Liane: "Oh Poopsiekins are you okay?"

{She hugs Cartman as he tries to wriggle free.}

Cartman: "Fi Dorra Rady Fi Dorra!"

Carol: "Hey your that mystery kid right?"

?: "Uh yeah that's me."

Karen: "Angel."

{Karen runs up and hugs him tight.}

Kenny: "Hey Karen."

{He rubs her head gently making her smile}

Linda: "Butters!"

Stephen: "Oh Butters you wonderful wonderful boy."

{Stephan breaks down emotionally.}

Butters: "Am I gonna be Grounded?"

Stephen: "Only till Christmas we promise."

{The sound of gunfire in the distance interrupts this tear filled reunion.}

Halfcock: "I hate to break up this little reunion but I'm afraid we've still got Conner to worry about."

Sheila: "Kyle, Ike get in we're going home."

Sharon: "You Too Stanley."

Stan: "But Mom what about Conner?"

Sharon: "Now Stanley the police can take care of him."

Kyle: "But we found found someone who can talk to Conner."

?: "Listen to me everybody we found someone who can reason with Conner but we have to get to him right now."

Halfcock: "Who?"

?: *gestures* Alright come on out."  
{Suddenly the blinding light from earlier appears and an off screen voice speaks.}

Voice: There's no time to waste arguing we have to find Conner now!

{The parents and Halfcock look in amazement at what there seeing. Karen's eyes beam with excitement.}

Halfcock: "Oh my Good God! It can't be you."

{Cut To Commercial break.}

{{Yay Kenny's back and who has brought with him to stop Conner? Will they make it in Time? leave a comment and find out next chapter.}}


	14. Chapter 14

{Return from Commercial break.}

{Conner and Benjamin take cover behind Mackey's car as he fires at them.}

{Mackey fires a shot rendering the gun empty.}

Conner: "He's out!"

{Conner steps out from behind hiding and sprays the windows of the school with glass causing Mr Mackey to drop his magazine and dive for cover.}

{Conner primes a grenade and rolls it under the cars gas tank.}

Conner: "Move!"

{The two brothers run out from cover as Mr Mackey's get's Conner in his sights}

Mackey:"Your mine M'kay"

{The grenade explodes flipping Mackey's car on it's roof and igniting the gas tank. the explosion causes Mackey to duck for cover as Conner and Benjamin shoot open the front doors to the school}

Benjamin: "Split up and search the ground floor sweep and clear".

{Conner and Benjamin split up shooting out the hall lights to hide their position and shooting down the door to Principal Victoria's office.}

Principal Victoria: {Hysterically} "Conner please don't shoot!"

{Conner lowers his M249}

Conner: "Come on Ben He's obviously not here."

Benjamin: "What about these two?"

Conner: "They're just small fish we want the big fish."

Dr Adams: {Hysterical} "Oh my god oh my god He's more out of control than Jerry Sandusky in a Penn State locker room!"  
{Dr Adams breaks down sobbing.}

{Conner facepalms and groans before moving on leaving Principal Victoria and Dr Adams unharmed}

Conner:" Let's just go."

Dr Adams: "Thank God thank God We're still alive" {He starts laughing with relief}

{The two brothers sweep and clear the ground floor searching for Mr Mackey.}

Cafeteria

{Conner shoots up the soda machine causing it to spit out exploded soda cans.}

Benjamin: "I had 75c on me if you wanted a soda."

Conner: "You gotta kill e'm before you drink e'm."

{He drinks sprite from an exploded can}

Conner: "Tastes better freshly killed".

Classroom

{Conner and Benjamin break down the door to find Mr Garrison staying late pleasuring himself to 50 shades of grey}

Garrison: "Oh Yeah that's Hot."

Conner and Benjamin: AHHH GOD {Benjamin covers Conner's eyes.} Sick!"

Garrison: "AHH OH MY GOD PLEASE JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME HAVE YOUR SICK WAY WITH ME BUT DON"T SHOOT!"

Conner: "Don't ask?

Benjamin: "Don't tell!

{They both leave}

Garrison: "Hey where are you going?"

Conner: "That's guys got some issues"

Benjamin: "Tell me about it."

{Garrison looks arounds suspiciously to make sure no one's watch and slowly picks up his book and starts masturbating again.}

{Meanwhile The parents and the police pull up to the school and get out.}

Sharon: "OH MY GOD!"

Yates: "Alright everybody get back! Murphy I want a full perimeter around the school nobody goes in or out!

Murphy: "Yes Sir."

{The police quickly surround the school and SWAT gets prepared to go in. while parents look on at the damage Conner has inflicted the sound of gunfire echoes through the shattered windows causing everyone to duck for cover.}

Gerald: "Forget about it this is Suicide"

Kyle: "We can't Dad He's our friend."

Sheila: {Mumbles incoherently from the effects of the tranquilizer.}

Gerald: "Your Mother's right Kyle it's too dangerous."

{Sheila starts drooling in front seat.}

Kyle: "But Dad."

Gerald: "No buts Kyle your staying right here."

Stan: "Sergeant Halfcock say something?"

Halfcock: "Your father's right Stan you stay right here this is something Conner and I have to do alone."

{He starts walking towards the school.}

Yates: "Where do you think your doing Sergeant?"

Halfcock: "My job."

Yates: "Listen to me this is my job my hostage situation I'm in charge here."

Halfcock: "Yates look at that bus LOOK AT IT! If you send your men in there then we're gonna have a bloodbath on our hands. I'm just asking for one chance to talk some sense into him. The only one at risk would be me."

Yates: "You had your chance Hemlock and you blew it."

Halfcock: "LISTEN TO ME SGT THAT BOY IN THERE IS MINE I TRAINED I KNOW HE THINKS AND I'M THE ONLY ONE HE TRUSTS! NOW ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS ONE CHANCE ONE CHANCE TO TALK HIM DOWN!"

{Mysterion appears on the the hood of the police car.}

Yates: "Mysterion boy are we glad to see you."

?:"Sergeant Yates listen to me We have someone who can reason with Conner."

Yates: "Who is it Mysterion?"

{The bright light appears again.}

Light: "Sergeant call your men back I can handle Conner.}

Yates: "And you are?"

Voice: "The only chance you got of ending this peacefully."

Yates: "Alright Mysterion we'll take your word on it." *turns to the policemen* "Let them through."

Halfcock: "Thank You!"

{Sgt Halfcock Mysterion and the mysterious light. starts running towards the school with Mysterion fading the screen to black with his cape.}

{Cuts to Conner and Benjamin breaking into the school library they begin shooting out the overhead lights to cover their movements}

{ On the rooftop Mr Mackey reloads his rifle and sees Conner through the sky light over the library unknowing casting a shadow into the darkened room which catches Conner's eye.}

{Thinking Quickly the Young Marine dashes under the skylight to draw Mackey's fire, Mackey not knowing Conner's plan opens fire through the skylight giving his position away. Conner responds with a burst of gunfire hitting Mackey several times and sending the school counselor through the skylight.}

{Conner and Benjamin close in for the kill.}

Mackey: {coughs} "go ahead"{cough} go ahead GO AHEAD YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH FINISH ME OFF M'KAY!

Halfcock: CONNER! CONNER DON"T DO IT"

{Conner turns around to see Sergeant Halfcock standing in front of him. The Wailing of Police sirens and the flashing lights light up the school.}

Halfcock: "Listen to me Conner You have no chance drop your weapon I'm gonna get you out of here."

{Conner pays no attention and instead picks up Mr Mackey's rifle.}

Halfcock: "Think about what your doing Conner. "The Building perimeter is surrounded, no exits, There are 200 police officers and guardsmen out there and a lot of M16s. You've had your little private war but it's over do you understand me it's over Conner!"

{Conner simply looks over at Benjamin and then at Halfcock and walks away from him.}

Halfcock: "It's over!"

Conner:"NOTHING IS OVER NOTHING YOU CAN'T JUST TURN IT OFF LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED! I DIDN'T WANT THIS KIND OF LIFE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A HOME TO GO BACK TO!

Halfcock: "The Pandemic was hard time for a lot of people Conner but that's all in the past now the best thing we can do is put it behind us."

Conner: "THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY THIS IS ALL BENJAMIN AND I HAVE LEFT DRIFTING FROM TOWN TO TOWN LIKE VAGRANTS. IN THE CORPS WE HAD A CODE OF HONOR NEVER EVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND WHERE WERE THEY WHEN WE NEEDED THEM?

{He angrily tosses the M249 across the room and breaks down against a bookshelf}

Halfcock: "Conner listen to me {He crouches next to him} LISTEN TO ME LOOK AT MY EYES LOOK AT MY EYES! your brother is dead do you hear me he's dead. He's been dead for almost a year."

{Conner looks over to the corner where Benjamin is just standing there not saying anything.}

Conner: "HE'S NOT DEAD HE'S BEEN WITH ME RIGHT NOW! SAY SOMETHING TO HIM BENJAMIN TELL HIM YOUR NOT DEAD!"

{In Actuality Benjamin is not there and has never been there Conner is actually yelling at an empty corner.}

{Conner finally breaks down in outright sobbing}

Conner: "SAY SOMETHING BENJAMIN ANYTHING! WHY WON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?" {He takes several deep breaths through his tears} "FOR GOD'S SAKE BENJAMIN WHY WON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING TO HIM?"

{Suddenly a voice calls out to him."}

Voice: "Because that's not your brother."

Conner: "Who said that?"

{ Mysterion darts across the room startling Conner who opens fire destroying several shelfs in the process.}

Conner: "Get back here!"

Halfcock: "Conner!"

{Conner chases the hero across the library spraying bullets with abandon finally cornering him in a dead end}

Conner: "There's nowhere left for you to hide."

{He empties the remainder of his belt into the dead end only to see a green question mark spray painted on the wall.}

Conner: "Where are you?"

?: "Here "

{Conner turns around and is struck by a blow from Mysterion but he quickly recovers and counters the hero''s next punch redirecting away from him and sweeping his knee. Conner moves in for the kill with his knife}

Conner: "Your a good warrior but you have what it takes to take that extra step!"

{Conner prepares to kill him but Mysterion stuns him with his cape and twists his wrist causing Conner to drop the knife. The two engage in a bare knuckle hand to fight for 90 seconds which ends ultimately with Conner overpowers Mysterion by exploiting his injured knee and wrestling him to the ground.}

?: "Listen to me Conner That's not your brother,"

Conner: *eyes full of rage.* "Your lying No one is going to take him away from me!"

{Suddenly the bright aura returns}

Aura: " He's telling the truth Conner"

{We cut to a shot of a figure emerging from a bright aura a young man about 19/20 in full Marine dress uniform followed by the boys and their parents."

Conner: "B-Benjamin?"

{Conner can't believe what he's seeing as the Benjamin in the corner fades away.}

{Conner runs up to his brother and tearfully hugs his leg, Benjamin steps down to one knee and hugs him back.}

Conner: "I remember now."

{Conner's mind flashes back to the crash.}

Dwight: "JUST GO GET OUT OF HERE."

{Sound of gunfire and guinea pigs squeaking}

Benjamin: "CONNER DON'T LOOK BACK!"

{Conner flashes back to his final moments with his Mom. She's been badly cut by a Guinea creature and is losing blood fast.}

Sarah: "It's going to be okay Conner Daddy and Benjamin will come back for us."

{Conner's face is badly scratched hence his scar. He shakes with nausea and fear.}

Conner:"M-Mom I'm S-Scared"

Sarah: {Her voice grows weaker as she loses blood} "Shh Don't be Conner I'll be right here beside you I promise."

{Conner embraces his Mother tightly}

Sarah: "Conner *coughs* I want you to promise me something."

Conner: *sniff* "What?"

Sarah: "I want you to promise me no matter what happens you'll be brave for me."

Conner:"I promise."

Sarah: "Mommy loves her little marine so much"

{Her eyes close.}

Conner:"Mom Mom MOM!"

{He nudges her but she doesn't move.}

{Conner flashes back to the next morning when stumbled upon the wreck of the family car and worse to Benjamin's body}

Conner: "BEN! {He tries to wake him.} Come on Ben get up please you gotta get up. {He begins sobbing into Benjamin's body. when out of nowhere the other Benjamin materializes more specifically is created in Conner's mind as a separate personality brought on by's Conner's extreme emotional stress.}

Benjamin: "Conner!"

Conner: "Ben?"

{We see what really happens Conner sees Benjamin in front of him but in actuality he is talking to no one.}

Benjamin/Conner :"Where's Mom? S-She's she's she's...{Conner breaks down crying} I'm sorry we tried to buy you some time. Where's Dad? He's gone bro."

{Conner sobs on the ground.}

Benjamin/Conner: "Listen to me Conner it isn't safe here we have to go. go where? I don't know."

{Conner gathers the weapons off the car and grabs Benjamin's dog tags.}

Benjamin/Conner: "Hey Ben? Yes Bro? I'm glad your still with me. Me too Little Bro"

{The flashback continues showing all the scenes with Benjamin up until this point. We see all of Benjamin's actions were in fact Conner's own. the bus jacking, the chase, being fired on by the helicopters, being pursued by the police and the National Guard, Escaping from the cave, and Conner's solo rampage through South Park.}

Conner: "Your..."

Benjamin: "Dead? *laughs* "Conner what have Dad and I always told you Marines don't die *Conner joins in.* They get reassigned to guard the gates of heaven.

Conner: "I've missed you so much"

*Conner trembles in his brothers arms*

Benjamin: "I've missed you too Conner."

Stan: "Kenny I've been meaning to ask how did you bring Benjamin here if he's been dead for a year?"

Kyle: "Yeah tell us."

?: ("You guys wouldn't believe me if i told you in fact no one's gonna remember this tomorrow anyway.)

Karen: "Angel is Benjamin that boy's Guardian Angel?"

?: ("Something like that Karen")

Benjamin: "Listen to me Conner I want you move on with your life forget the past."

Conner: *chokes out sobs* "I can't I never got to say goodbye"

Benjamin:"Then say it now."

Conner:"G-Good B-Bye Benjamin."

{Two more auras appear and in their place are a man and a woman both dressed in uniforms}

Conner: "M-Mom D-Dad!"

{Conner rushes and embraces them}

Dwight: "Hello Conner."

Sarah: "We've missed you so much"

{Sarah kisses him on the forehead.}

Dwight: "My you've become so strong since we last saw you."

Conner: "Mom Dad I'm so glad your back don't ever leave again"

Sarah: "We wish we could Conner but we can't."

Conner: "W-What do you mean?"

Dwight: "Conner If it was up to us we would stay with but it's not."

Conner: *heart sinks* "Please don't go I never got to say goodbye."

Dwight: "Son saying goodbye doesn't mean anything I don't want you to think about what happened I want you remember the good times we had together."

Sarah: "We want to know that we're proud of you and we'll always love you no matter what happens."

Benjamin: "And even If we're not here it doesn't mean we're gone. We'll always be with you Conner"

{Conner looks at his dog tags and runs the plates through.}

{Benjamin Dwight and Sarah start to fade away.}

Benjamin: " Conner I promise we'll meet again someday until then *salutes* Semper Fi.

Conner: *returns the salute* "Semper Fi Benjamin."

{Conner's parents fade away with Benjamin clicking his heels before following. He looks around the room and then at himself seeing the shattered lights and bullet ridden bookcases and finally over to Mr Mackey who's still bleeding on the floor.}

Mackey: "Why haven't you come for help M'kay?

{We cut to the outside of the school where the police and Sgt Halfcock are escorting Conner into custody.}

{Conner looks out at the crowd of people watching amid a sea of police cars and swat vans, then down at Sgt Halfcock who smiles at him with encouragement.}

{Conner smiles back and slowly walks down the steps to the police vehicle, as he steps down he hears a voice call out to him.}

?: "Conner!"

{Conner turns to see the boys and their parents looking at him, Mysterion Salutes him followed by Stan Kyle, Butters, Karen, Kevin and...

Cartman: "Hey Soldier boy you looking for good time onry Fi dorra Me so Horny me love long time.

{"God Damn it Cartman!"}

{Conner returns the salute and soon the other children who showed up at the scene, Craig Token Clyde Tweek Wendy Bebe and the rest of the kids return the salute as Conner walks by. The parents and school faculty join in and eventually even the Truant Officers the police and the National Guard."}

{Before he steps in Conner looks over at the ambulance where Mr Mackey is being loaded in. He doesn't salute Conner he just smiles at him.}

{Conner steps into the van and looks up to the sky toward a shining star and smiles as It's a Long Road by DVDA plays in the background.}

{Note I know that Dan Hill sings that song but this is a cover by DVDA}

{We pan out of the school as the police cars drive off and the credits roll.}

Written by Ask Conner Kurtz and RockHead 1989

Based on First Blood directed by Andrew Vajna based on the novel by David Morell And South Park Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

{All Rights belong to their respective creators.}

{My Only Intellectual Properties are Conner Kurtz, Benjamin Kurtz Gunnery Sergeant Barry Halfcock Dwight Kurtz Sarah Kurtz and Truant Officer Galt may his shattered testicles heal.}

{Stay tuned I have one more scene to show you.}


	15. Chapter 15 Epilogue

{The credits finish as we cut to a shot of a car pulling into Alamosa Maximum Security Juvenile Hall.}

{Gunnery Sergeant Halfcock parks in the visitors lot and steps out followed by the four boys and Mrs Garthunk for the South Park Milk Company.}

Cartman: {Looks up at the sign that says Gruffy sez "Try to escape and we'll shoot you on sight."} "Here we are the big house never thought I'd be back here."

Stan: "Why do you look so nervous Fatass?"

Cartman: "I'm not nervous it just brings back a lot of bad memories and I'm not fat I'm big boned."

Stan: "You'll be fine as long as nobody recognizes your ass."

{The boys along with Sgt Halfcock and Mrs Garthunk all laugh.}

Cartman: "Stan I swear to god if you make more crack about my ass again I'm gonna hit you with this rock."

Stan: "Try it and I'll kick your ass Tanker tits"

Cartman: {Takes off his coat} "Alright you asked for it Asshole I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass." {Puts his dukes up.}

{Stan punches him in the jaw.}

Cartman: {Starts crying} WAHHHHHHHHHH MEEEEHMMM MEEEEEHHHMMM!

Halfcock: "How the hell did this kid survive Juvey?"

{They just go on in followed by Cartman who's still sobbing.}

{At the visitation room several kids are talking to their parents}

Mom: "Are you brushing your teeth every night?"

Boy: "Yes Mommy."

Mom: "And are you remembering to not drop the soap?"

Boy: "Yes Mommy?"

{The Corrections officer brings out Conner who's now sporting prison tattoos on his arms.}

Corrections officer: You got ten minutes Kurtz."

{Conner sits down}

Halfcock: "Hey Conner."

Conner: {softly smiles} "Hey Sir." {He salutes him.}

Halfcock: {Returns the salute} "How are you?"

Conner: "Good I guess."

Halfcock: "Conner I just want you to know I did everything I could to keep you out of here."

Conner: "It's not so bad the foods alright."

Kyle: "Hey Conner My Dad said that the court's considered your case and they said that the use of of Barbra Streisand as a tactic constitutes cruel and unusual punishment."

Stan: "We even petitioned the governor to pardon you."

Conner: "How'd that go?"

Stan: "Not very good."

{Flashes back to the Governors office where the boys dressed as a mariachi band try to melt Governor Hickenlooper's icy heart with a hot salsa number...wait or was it cool his hot heart with a cool salsa number anyway the boys get tossed out.}

Stan: "But we did someone who would listen."

Mrs Garthunk: "Hello Conner I'm Mrs Garthunk from the South Park Milk Company makers of the freshest milk in Colorado?"

Conner: "What does that have to do with me?"

Halfcock: "We're prepping a recon mission to search for missing children in ran an analysis of operatives capable of completing the mission. Your name was on the top of the list."

Conner: I still don't understand sir?"

Halfcock: "Mrs Garthunk if you would explain?"

Mrs Garthunk: "Thank you Sergeant Halfcoke. {He facepalms.} Conner we at the South Park Milk company are dedicated to helping find missing children across the country as well as providing the freshest milk in Colorado. During one of our routine sweeps of the San Diego area we picked some heavy radio traffic concerning a shipment of children matching many in our databases We tracked it on our satellite network to an island in the southern hemisphere off the coast of Peru. It's privately owned and in international waters so we can't go in."

Conner: "That's where I come in right?"

Halfcock: "Exactly If your in we leave right now. We'd be in and out in 72 hours and if you succeed there may be a presidential pardon in it for you."

{Conner looks undecided.}

Halfcock: "You can't possibly want to stay here for another five years,"

Conner: "Sir do we get to win this time?"

{Cuts to the credits again}

South Park Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Conner Kurtz Sergeant Peter Halfcock Created by RockHead South Park.

Screenplay by RockHead South Park.

{Cuts back to the waiting room everyone except Cartman is leaving.}

Stan: "Come on Cartman."

Cartman: "Go on I'll catch up to you. {He grabs his stomach in pain.}

{Cartman walks up to Romper Stomper's cell.}

Cartman: "Hey Romper Stomper!"

Romper Stomper: "Cartman! Did you bring it?"

Cartman: "I sure did." {He sits on the toilet and begins pooping out Casa Bonita.}

{Cartman grunting and pooping} Ahh {Hold up a platter of Mexican food} I'm Starving Let's Eat."

{Cartman and Romper Stomper begin eating tacos and enchilada's as we cut to the end of the credits for real this time and not a moment too soon.}

{A RockHead South Park Screenplay.}

{{{Thus our Story comes to end for now. Looking back it I can say while I'm proud of my work and of finally finishing this. I can say there's definite room for improvement. If you could leave a comment telling me what you thought of my story and let me know what you liked and didn't like but no flames please as a courtesy. I can say I look forward to writing some more with Conner in the future. Until then I'll see you later.}}}


End file.
